First Storm

Unfortunately I cannot up load the pictures to here from the computer the library has a system that blocks that. We had a nice little storm Thursday, it took out trees, power lines, and other things. Most of the damage was from falling trees. There was one right near my bedroom that fell onto a carport, if it had fallen at the other angle it would have gone into my bedroom. Yes, I was home when it happened, no I did not hear it. I was sound asleep in bed. I must have been knocked out. The tree was a blue spruce very pretty, now someone has fire wood. Oh well.

I have been working out of town, and that has been ok as my kid has not needed me to get him to school. The thing that is bad about it was that the morning of the storm there were so many accidents on the freeway that it was a parking lot. Well, at least I-5 was I don't know about the others I was not on them. It was not the storm that caused all the accidents, the storm hit after 11am. The accident that caused me the most problem was in Tacoma over the Payallup River. It was a long haul truck. That one I got to go 2 miles in an hour and a half. AND it was the one place there were no exits from the freeway. So by the time I got to an exit I was past the blocked part of the freeway. Oh and the accident was all cleared up by the time I got there. What fun.

Still

Still no computer. It is driving me crazy the good news is I am getting a lot more done at home and more hours in at work. wwwwohhoo that was sarcastic btw.

I went last week to a meeting of pagans and there is talk of setting up classes to help us learn what we don't know and what we want to know. This sounds good to me, there are some things that I cam clueless about. Other I am working on and some that I know already. It was an interesting meeting. I did not talk a lot but that was ok sometimes listening is better. I did find out that I need to get a hematite stone to keep in my pocket so that I don't have as much problems with the energy fields that I now have. If it will save me when I get a new laptop then woohoo I am all for it. I do think that is what happened to my laptop I think I killed the internal processor all by my self. I know that I did not have any virus or other nasty on there.

Last night at work I did a suicide watch, now I was at one point in time many many years ago depressed enough to think about attempting to kill myself. I did get some happy pills and that took care of that. I managed to get off of them when I realized what my triggers were and how to not let things get that bad. This young person might now have all kinds of serious health problems. Thank the Goddess I got the pill, and that I no longer need them.

Cars, Pagans

Sunday, my car did something mean to me. It decided that while I was driving her, she was going to loose a break shoe. Of course it did not fall off on the road, it wedged its self under the other break shoe. That means eekkkk STOP!!!! when I did not want to stop. I was going. The good news was that I was in a parking lot going about 5 mph and not on the freeway where I was heading. I had to have the car towed and that took some cash, then new breaks, then more cash is gone. But I now have my car back.

Pagans, are meeting tonight at the library for a lets so who is out there gathering. I think I am going to go and see what I can learn. It might be intersting.

No, still no computer, I am at the library I did find the one that I want and right now it is under $500.oo the thing is I don't have that what with the car and other normal expences. Oh well. Ta for now

OH Crap

Guess what the inevatable has happened. My laptop has died, it is gone to that hell that only computers can go to. I now have limited access to the internet by others computers or the library. They both suck. I did go today and find a sweet laptop that I would love to have but the thing is as much as my rent. I had better get off my rear and start working more hours to get things paid for. Sometimes life sucks. Now on the personal side of things they are going ok. It is great having someone love me for me, and not because they think I am someone else.

There is a new nurse at work who I can't stand. She came in all ready to change things and not bothering to find out what is working and what is not working. That is the pits it makes wanting to go into work most difficult. I have cut my hours to only noc's so that I don't have to deal with her. Now the company also highered her partner to work the same schedule that she does. This I think is a mistake. How can one be objective at work when they are angry or have other feelings for the person working with them. It does have a tendancy to get a bit stressed in there.

I have just about 40 more min here and want to get some emails checked. Peace out

Gay Marriage

Hi all.
There is a debate going on where I work about gay marriage and if it will be made legal here in the state that I live in. I think that it soon will be I don't see where the state is going to have an option in the matter.

Here is why I think that and what has happened to lead me to believe that. The state government has given domestic partners insurance rights. For example: Mary lives with Sally and they have been living together for years, they have a joint bank account set up to cover house hold costs. Mary works for the state under this policy Sally can get on her health insurance at work.

What is now happening is that private companies are following the states lead. This is including the company that I work for. This is a big surprise as I work for a company that is owned by the Catholic church. Now here is why I think that the marriage will pass soon, and it is the only way I can see this working.

Example; Ann is looking for a roommate, her job does not pay well however it has great insurance. Tracy apples for the roommate spot, she has a well paying job but the insurance is not the best. After being roommates for a year, Ann and Tracy talk about insurance and how it has changed. With the domestic partnership Ann can put Tracy on her coverage for less money than what Tracy is paying now. They agree that Tracy will pay Ann the cash to cover her loss in pay and put Tracy on her policy. A few years pass and Tracy is getting married, Ann fills out the paperwork takes her off the policy. No fuss.

Now, if the marriage law were to pass it would make this a lot harder to get into and out of as there would have to be legal proff of marriage to get on the insurance company policy's. I do see insurance becoming a strong advocate for gay marriage as word of this gets out. We, all know that money talks and the company's do not want to loose this money.

Lies, sex, love and religion

Ok lies. Lies we all know are every where, I have been lieing to myself in a big way, I recently had to go through personal hell and back to realize that. What, was my hell? I got piss drunk on Bourbon and tequila made a fool of myself, admitted at least to me my lie. Then spent the rest of the week in misery. I am better about what is happening now, I still want to shout to the world but know that I yet cannot.

Sex, I am not getting any. Why? I do not have the makeup to go out there and just find someone for a night of fun. I think that I am to much of a romantic for that. It is not the idea of the wine and dine it is the whole commitment thing. For me part of the turn on is commitment. Is that nuts or what?

Love, I am so in love. The thing that sucks about this is that right now it is a long distance relationship. I did not think that it would work out. The answer to the question at first was no. Then a few months later it was yes. I don't know what changed but I am so glad that it did.

Religion, what the hell. I believe in God, and Goddess. I cannot see God as an all "YOU ARE GOING TO HELL FOR THAT" deity. Do I feel dammed for being me? No not at all, I just feel bad for the people who don't get that.

Long time no Blog

It has been over a month and I have been trying to be a better blogger. However on April 30th my family had to deal with something that we did not see coming. My mom passed away. A doctor who was consulting on her case is looking into her death, he thinks that her primary was negligent. That could take a while with going thought the files so we have to wait.

She died of an infection that she should have been able to fight off with antibiotics. I think that this is all can write about now.

Money Money Money

The state has a surplus of money this year to spend so as they haggle and talk over what is going to be done with this money there are many groups and organizations fighting over it, how to spend it what to spend it on. Much of the state is in need of road and new drainage work. The main city here wants much of the money to be spent on a new basketball stadium for the Sonics. I have never been to the old stadium I doubt that I will go to the new one.

This spending money on a private organization that a majority of the people will never use is in my opinion not a very good idea. The state is also being petitioned by a group that is asking that part of the money be spent on elderly care. This is what I care about this is where I work. I go to long term care places to work and many of them are not up to the standard that most people would put their pet in. I know of places that are loosing money so much to the point that the staff has not had a raise in many year. That the daily food allotment for each person there is $2.49 a day. Can you feed your self 3 meals a day plus a snack if you are diabetic on under $2.50 a day. I know that I can't. Much of the equipment is so old that it costs more in repairs than to buy a new one. However, buying a new bed or lifting machine will take money way from the other needs. It is like in our world of the US. the elderly are forgotten. Lost, not cared for.

Now I will admit that not all places are like this. There are places that have the money, and the staff that cares for the patient. Those are usually nonprofit or are private pay where a semi-private room costs into the thousands a month. Not, many can afford that. So what should we spend the millions on that are hanging about. A building for a basketball team, that already has one that they don't want because it is old. Or, on the elderly.

Arrrgggghhhhh

That title does not make me feel the least bit better. Do you want to know why? Well, probably not but I am going to get it off my chest anyway. At work we had one person doing the staff rotation. Now we have 2 and they are not talking to each other. So I get to work on Friday to and I am to be on two halls at the same time. Now, one person finds this amusing and the other is a pissed off about it as I am. Then last week they have me marked down as a no call no show. I was at my other job in Longview, I knew that I was working there, they knew or I told them that I was not going to be in town that day. So how am I to be in the two different towns at the same time. Working in heath care sucks.

The Sad

I am saddened by what happened at Virginia Tech. Death, unexpected death is never something that is easy to handle. Even for those who see death on a daily basis it is not easy. My heart and energy goes out to those who are effected by this. I am not one to ask who is to blame, I do not blame the government, the gun manufacturer, the school, or the man's parents. I am one who believes is that soon to be extinct now on the endangered species list. That is Personal Responsibility. There are some exceptions to this thing called Personal Responsibility. I know that the ALL GREAT AND POWERFUL news is saying that the man had some mental health issues, that may be true. It maybe that he gave into the pressure, the anger or whatever it was that was tormenting him. I for one who has gone through a server depression fell sorry for him. I know that he felt alone, misunderstood, angered and very unwell. This is just a tragic event that someone, somewhere will take and run with it to further their own gains. They will just not let the families, friends, loved ones and yes the pets mourn. They want to see the suffering to get others behind them on whatever it is that they think they can best squeeze out of this. That to is sad.

Not Cancer

For those of you who find yourself reading this lolly blog. My mom does not have cancer. It took nine days in the hospital, a collapsed lung, and a biopsy to find out that she has Valley Fever. So 8 months to a year on some pills and a little help with her malabsorption she will be healthy again. For those of you who don't know what Valley Fever is go and look it up. We are teasing her about the 'shrooms in her lungs. The doc did say that they are not special 'shrooms.

Work and more work

Work that is what I do to get paid. I work anywhere form 4 to 16 hours a day. With mom in a funk about having cancer and not wanting support from anyone other than her kids it gets to be a bit stifling. I leave work to come to work where I don't get paid.

Mom wants me to wait on her hand and foot. Like I don't get enough of that at the nursing home and the hospitals. I feel like I don't have a home anymore. Just 2 nursing homes that I go between.

Death it is

Well, the results are in. Mom does have cancer it is in 3 places and has metastasized ( I know I spelled it wrong). So now she is laying on the couch getting us to wait on her hand and foot. Like I don't do this enough at work. I am going to start working 6 days a week or even pull doubles so I don't have to deal with this crap. That sounds bad but I did not get into heath care to take care of my family I got into it to take care of others. This is pissing me off royally.

The Boy wants to have a friend over on Monday as it is the last day of finals. Mom is bitching about that. Well, this is not her fvcking house. I pay rent, power and buy the food. My bills have all doubled sense she moved in. Not only that but I have gotten behind on paying things that were not behind before June. I know I am bitching about things. But it needs to be done, it helps me keep my sanity.

Life and Near Death

Mom went to the doc on Tuesday of last week for a check up. During the check up they took X-rays, on the X-ray the doc found a spot on her lungs. So this Tuesday she went and had a CAT scan for a better look. Mom thinks that she has cancer and is going to die. She goes to see what the results are today.

Sense last week mom has been moping about, lying around on the couch and not doing much else. It is like she has decided to die even with out hearing the results. There might not be anything wrong with her, it might have been just a mess up in the development process. Then again it might not be. Mom has been a 4 pack a day smoker for over 30 years. We won't find anything out for a few more hours. So I am going to watch a movie and do some cross stitch.

Borrowed from it Comes in Pints

I have a BIG FUCK OFF and I need to get it out. SO FUCK OFF HEATH CARE SYSTEM... I work in heath care nursing actualy and I cannot get heath insurnce, weekends off or holidays. So fuck off to all the people who hear what I do and think I have it made. Fuck Off to patients who dont listen then reinjure themseves and blame us. FUCK OFF to call lights, to idots who dont understand that pills do not cure all. FUCK OFF to doctors who get medical for free, when the nurses who do most of the work cant get shit. Fuck off the the patients who think they are the only sick people in the hospital- nursinghome. Fuck off to people who dont understand why sometimes I have to work nights. I would love to close the hospitals down at 5pm and let all the drunks who drive and hit trees lay there until they reopen at 9am. DONT THINK THAT WILL WORK.. FUCK OFF to the state government who makes it so that we have no recurse when a patent comes at us with weapons yet when we put up our hands to protect ourselves we get charged with assult. . . There is alot more I want to say but I have to get in bed to get to work.

Here is the link to It comes in Pints http://www.secondbreakfast.net/

Dont have one for today

Well, I have been out of blogging for a while. I took a week and spent a few days in Los Vegas and had a blast. My girlfriends and I meet at the airport we all arrived within 30 min of each other and left the same way too. So that none of us had to be alone for long. Oh it was a fun trip. The one and only downer about is was that Bluelady had to be in meetings all day. So she was only able to come with us in the evenings. But what fun we had in the evenings. We say Phantom of the Opera, the lions at the MGM being fed, and saw some drunk women in a bar dance. NO they were not us. There was so much to See and to do I wish that we could have had more time there, more to do, to talk about, to share. I miss Blue and Windy. It was a great trip.

Life is The Blues

I am watching Blues Brothers 2000 and I know that it is not the one that most people like But I love the Gator Boys at the end. I am not sure but I think that is Charlie Musslewhite playing the harp. I did not see him but it sounded like him. OK so I happen to love blues and blues harp is the best. It is fun to play too.

But that is not what this heading was to have been about. My brother has put in notice for his job, he has not gotten a raise in over a year and the boss hates him. I can understand why he wants to quit but he is staying with me. I don't want to end up supporting him. That might happen if he does not find a job soon.

Halloween and possably getting fired

My work is having a Halloween costume contest. Now for those of you who don't know I work in long term care and rehap for physical thearpy. So I am going to make myself into an old lady and become a patient. I am going to get latex face makeup and add wrinkels, some bruses so that it looks like I fell and landed on my face. Some bandages in places, and borrow a wheelechair. I am alos going to make my hair white. It ought to be fun and if I get fired so what it is not like I have another job well I do have another job.

I think that this will be the best costume ever. I mean being an old lady in an nursing home. That will be cool.

Ch ch ch anges

My best friend has moved from her home to a new state and for her I am glad. For me not so much so. It is not that she has moved away from me she lives on the East Coast and I live on the West. What it is, is that she will not have a phone for about two weeks. I call her every morning and we talk at least twice a day. We are going to be suffering here at least until the phone gets turned on.

Another change that is coming up I might in January be going back to school. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It has been a while sence I have been in school so I have to start over with the prereqs. That will not be fun but it is understandable. The one thing that I will have a problem with is if I go into nursing. This state requires that you take a CNA class, I have been one for 20 years, and they wont let us test out of it. That to me is a waste of money and time, both mine and the teachers.

Passwords and computers

I have not been able to post in a long time. First my computer recived a virus, nice right? Well, not really by the time I got it fixed it was to late to post my post on September 11th. Not only that but because I have not been able to log on in forever, I forgot my password, not just for here but for other things that I have on here. One day I will be smart enough to make and keep a list of what password goes with what link/site/program.

I have had to reload everything from programs to drivers. I dont know how I got them or if someone gave them to me.