Posting

I know that I said that I was going to post a long one today as I have the time. I just don't feel like it. I need to deal with somethings but not online or today. So I am going to have to sit and worry about it until I can get to a point where I can actually deal with what is going on, or more appropriately what was said.

I don't know if K said it as a joke and others took it the wrong way or if he was serious. I do hope that he was joking and that the others took him wrong. I need a hug.

Bad Nursing Jokes

What do you give a man who has got everything?

Antibiotics

Knock Knock

Whose there?

HIPPA

HIPPA who?

Sorry, cannot divulge that information.

Quick Note

I have been out of town for two days and have had company. I do have to leave for errands before work in a few minutes but tomorrow I will have time to do a post with pics.

Vacation Photos

Photo #1 is the Big Wood River outside of Ketchum Idaho in the National Forrest.
Photo #2 is the Big Wood River outside of Ketchum in the National Forrest
A shot of one of the Mt.s on highway 75 going toward Stanley
The Redfish River in Idaho
This is the meadow where Honey and I got engaged. It was full of blooming Lupine, and last year that is where they had a huge fire. Some of the burned trees are in the photo.

Normal, everyone, beverbody

I was reading Tina's Blog her post of today gave me the idea for today's post. In her blog she talks about a class that she is taking go read it if you have not yet done so.

I have never met anyone "normal" no matter what people think or say. There is in my opinion no such thing as normal. Based on our prospectives we all see, hear, and react to things in a different manner. There can be statistics that show what is average. Such as number of cars owned the average can be 2. However, that is not "Normal". I know people who do not own cars and others who have 20.

This leads to "everyone/everybody". We have all hear at some point in our lives that phrase; "Well, everyone/body does (fill in the blank)." No, they don't. I have not met everyone/body and I am pretty sure that even with the Internet that is not possible to do. So how the hell could whoever said that know that. Do they mean that everyone they know does/wears that? Do they mean that people on TV as everyone/body is their point of reference?

I am not normal, everyone/body and I am happy that way. I might have some average things in my life but I would hate to be that person who is not unique, or has something about them that is special. I love being different, being me, being an individual, I don't want to fit into the cookie cutter of what someone, or TV has decided that I have to fit into. I LOVE ME!

Yes, there are somethings that I want to change, I think that a lot of people want to make some changes in their lives. But I sill love me.

Nightmares

I know that it is my fault that I had nightmares last night. Oh, they were not to scary just strange and disturbing. I had heads talking to me, slept in an unlocked shed surrounded by scary sounds types of dreams. I know what caused it.

I don't buy cable, and where I live I cannot pick up an air signal for TV, so if I want to see something, I can watch it on DVD or on the computer. Well, Honey told me that she thought I would enjoy watching Buffy. So I checked and the library has them on DVD, great. I got on the list and I have three weeks to watch an entire season. This is usually not a problem, however with vacation last week I now only have a few days to watch the shows. I cannot renew them as there are others waiting for the DVDs. So for the past few days that I have not worked I have been Buffy marathoning season 3.

That is where the dreams of the talking heads, zombies, giant bugs, and general creepiness has been coming from. So tomorrow I think I will start on the L-Word.

Happy 4th of July, may you not get to drunk when playing with explosives.

Back

I am back from our vacation in Idaho. There were some disappointments and lots of fun. The major disappointment was that B from NJ did not make it out there, her fight was delayed and by the time she got in to Atlanta she was stressed and had missed her connecting flight. All of this caused her health to spiral and she got sick. So she turned around and went back to NJ. I know that her health is more important than the trip but she was missed.

The town to had changed that is to be expected but we did not expect it to change in such a way that the bar we liked to hang out in now looks like a fish diner. The decore just looks so out of place for Hailey. We did not go in we just peeked in the windows it did not look like a place that knew how to mix drinks anymore.

Smokey Mountain Pizza is no longer in Hailey the restaurant is now a sushi place. I am not a fan of sushi I don't like the texture of the fish cooked that way. There is one of the pizza places in Ketchum. I don't know if it moved there or if there was always on there.

In Ketchum there is a needlepoint and knitting shop. I have wanted to go in there for ever so Honey and I went in. I was thrilled with all of the yarn but it was definitely a needlepoint shop. I do counted cross stitching and that is very different. I was so hoping to pick up some cloth or look at new patterns.

I did get spoiled there. Honey and I had lazy mornings together, and late nights (wink wink). We explored the land and found some very beautiful and unexpected places. I will post pictures when I get on my computer. We went for a walk along the Big Wood River and at the top of a hill there was a field full of blooming lupine. It was quiet, warm and peaceful. A place that neither one of us expected to be there.

It was there in that field that I asked her to marry me and she said yes. We are going to wait and take our time before setting a date. I love her so much that I want this to work out and I am willing to wait as long as it takes. She is worth it.

This Time Tomorrow

I will be waiting to get on a plane and then I will have a week with Honey. A whole week, 5 days. I am counting the hours now. She and I will be alone for part of the trip then our friend from NJ will be joining us.

Last night we talked a bit about not making NJ feel like a third wheel as this is the first time the three of us will be doing anything where Honey and I are a couple. I know that maintaining that balance is going to be hard but there are plenty of opertunities to tease each other as well.

We have a few plans but nothing that is set in stone. We are going to see the Birds of Pray, I did ask and no the birds don't have prayer beads. I know sounds like something Fozzy Bear would say, but some times things are hard to resist.

My mind right now is more along the lines of Animal... Oh Honey Look out

Oly Pride

Today I went to my first ever Pride day. I did enjoy myself, I was kind of lonely it was a day that made me greatly miss Honey. I watched as couples danced, held hands, snuggled, and were just free to be their selves. It was a day where I badly missed her, some days are much worse than others, but I think that anyone who has ever been in a long distance relationship will understand that.

I got there before the parade started and I am glad I did. The one or two of the bikes had the pipes blown and I could feel the vibration in the sidewalk. My town has such a small town feel that the parade would stop so that people who could get out and talk to friends that they recognized. Or the crowd would go up and talk to some one in the parade, little kids would go up to the cars or the dancers to get candy.

I got one complement on my shirt. I have a breast cancer shirt that says "Caught you looking at my tatas."

This bike is the one that I can see Honey riding, dressed in jeans, scruffy cowboy boots, and a black leather jacket. I think that she would enjoy the power and the feel of this one. As for me, I would ride on it but not drive it. These big ones scare me. I could have a Vespa and scoot about on it just fine. Honey would look funny on a Vespa, but on a Harley she would shine.

I did have one very hard time during the parade. It was when PFLAG went by. I know that my family is so anti-gay that when they find out about Honey I can kiss them all good by. IF they let me get that close. I wish that they could be more accepting but that is not going to happen.

Product

Tuesday night I went and got my hair cut and permed. Going to the salon is always some what interesting to me. I don't go to one of the $100 a hair cut places nether do I go to a $10 one. I go to one that would be considered average. Every time I go there whoever does my hair is pushing the product of the month or in this case the year.

Both this time and last time they used something in a silver bottle that smelled like grape gum. I use to love grape gum when I was nine. Now the smell is to sweet, and as I have a sever bee sting allergy, and work in the hospital I don't like to wear things with a strong sweet scent. So, when I ask them if it comes unscented I get this blank stare. When I explain why I don't wear scents they ask as if they understand what I am talking about. However, when I ask them after the try to get me to buy said product if it comes unscented they look at me as if I have lost my head.

Then they call it Product, as if that is the name of the product. Why do they do that? Is it to to sound more fancy? It sound more upscale? Or is it to drive people crazy?

Tirade

I wrote out by hand a long tirade about my job and what I wish that people would understand about it. I however left it in the car and am right now not dressed enough to go out and get it. I will have to post it at a later date. Of course knowing me there will be some revisions to it. I can never leave things like that alone.

When I was in college my writing teachers all preferred my rough drafts to the finished work. People say that an individual is their own worst critic. For me I belief that is true in my writing and in my stitching. I never like what I write and I expect my stitching to be perfect.

One of these days I am going to have to put up a story that I have written so that anyone who wants to can see what I mean about not liking the way that I write. If it is something that I have to think about for a long time or work on repeatedly, then I know that I will not be happy with the end results.

This weekend was one where the Boy had some friends over. He loved it, I loved it. I have spent over $70 on pizza for them. Yes, most of them are on the HS football team. They did not eat all the pizza, but it does freeze nicely so I have some extras to pull out on an as needed basis.

Sunday I made the mistake of taking the Boy to Orca Books with me. He and the one kid who spent the night did not get to bed until 3am. So he was not in the mood to hang out at a book store. There were a lot of things there that I wanted to get but I limited myself to two books one for him and one for me and then Honey will get it mailed to her.

This picture I took with my new camera. It does prove that even tho we are getting a lot of rain and cold weather we are still in spring.

Long Distance

There are more times than others when long distance relationships are harder for me. Yesterday was one. I got at txt from Honey, and she desperately needed a hug. She later told me that she is working on something that is frustrating. She did manage to get one line and then almost a second one done today. I could hear it in her voice that this job was going to bother her until she gets it finished.

There are also the times when I see couples doing every day things together. Walks, grocery shopping the list could go on and on. I would love to be able to do that with her, and I know that one day we will. I just have to wait.

The good news is that it is now about 13 days before I get to see her again. Another waiting. Arrgggg!!

Just checked the time and I am going to be late for work have to run.

Projects

Today is an unexpected day off. That sometimes happens the hospital is over staffed, or there are lots of empty beds. I think today it was over staffing. This will give me time to work on my projects that I have going on. I am working on a cross stitch of a painting called "Day Surrendering into Night". Honey picked it out, and while there are times it is sending me into fits I know that she will like it when it is done. If you want to see what it looks like here is the link http://www.kustomkrafts.net/New%20Website/counted%20pages/99143page.htm .

I have a few other things that I am working one but I am not anywhere near ready to start thinking about.

Tonight my group of witches/pagans gathers to talk about what we have learned and still have to learn. I love going when I can. I missed the last one as it was a school function night. I want to bring up ley lines and how to find them. I know that Seattle is the only city that has them all mapped out. But when I am on vacation with Honey I want to see if I can find one there.

Just 16 more days until I get to hold her again. Oh it seems like forever since I last saw her. I know that is not the case but that is what it feels like.

The A-Z

Yes, I stole the questions from other sites but the answers are all mine.

A is for your age: Just turned 38

B is for your burger of choice: I have not found one to rave over, they are all about the same.

C is for the car that you drive:Plymouth Neon

D is for dog's name: I currently don't have a dog but they have been named, Woy-Woy, Eatm Eatm on the Floor, Moose, Queenie, Pudge, Snoozie, Buster, Duchess, Sparkie,Bandit, Bambi

E is for an essential item you use each day:Bio-silk as a leave in conditioner.

F is for your favorite television show: I don't watch TV so I don't know what is on. I do rent videos of TV shows and can't wait to watch the next part of L-Word

G is for favorite game:Any Zelda game, and Guitar Hero

H is for hometown:Olympia, WA

I if for instruments played:Guitar and Harmonica

J is for favorite juice:I like tangy juices pomegranate, cranberry, V-8 with Tabasco sauce to make it spicy

K is for what you'd like to kick: Gas Prices I would love to knock them down

L is for the last restaurant you dined at: Breakfast at the New Moon yummy. Then I know it is not a restaurant but we had dinner last night at Big Tom's it is a drive up take out. I loooove their milkshakes

M is for your favorite Muppet: Animal, Animal he is so cool.

N is for the number of piercings you have:Two one in each ear

O is for overnight hospital stays: Lots, I had pneumonia as a kid and would stay a few nights each time

P is for people you were with today:Everyone is still asleep so just me.

Q is for what you do in quiet times: Read, do crafts

R is for regrets:I regret secrets, I have some that I still have to keep just for a little while longer.

T is for the time you woke up today: The first time 5am then I went back to bed and slept until 8:454.

U is for what you consider unique:Without spell check my spelling.I also have to admit that my sense of humour is not normal.

V is for favorite vegetable:Green beans, no peas, no brussel sprouts, no green peppers, no jalapenos, no carrots, no mushrooms. I like a lot

W is for your worst habit:Voyeur, thank the blogs for blog. I also bite my finger nails

X is for x-rays you have had:Lots, chest for pneumonia, back for injuries, knee for injuries

Y us for yummy food you ate today:After I get off the computer I will make coffee, but I have not eaten anything yet.

Z is for zodiac sign:Gemini I am a twin, and I think that most people will say that fits me.

Frustration

Yesterday I was on my way to work, and I got stuck in a traffic jam that I thought I was never going to get out of. Let me explain. On I-5 here in Washington we have these blue signs with an AM radio station number on them, when the lights are flashing you tune in and find out what is going on.

Yesterday on the way to Tacoma just outside of Nisqually there is one of those signs so I tuned in and found out that at the bridge the two right lanes were closed due to a one car roll over. The truck (as it turns out) was hauling a camper trailer so it was blocking all the lanes. I did what any good person who does not want to get fired does, I called my work.

"This is me, tell the hospital that there is a bad accident and I will be late. No, I don't know how late. Thanks"

A few minutes later (by now I had been sitting there not moving for about 20 minutes) I get a call back from my company. "Hi, the hospital does not need you to come in today. They cancelled your shift last night but no one called to tell you. You can turn around and go home now."

Well, thanks. I have wasted gas, time, and I had about 2 more miles of sitting in this mess before I came to the next exit. So with not much I can do I turned on the radio to see if there was some good music on. The radio station was giving a traffic report. It turns out that in the camper the driver was hauling parrots, and they go loose. So everyone was out trying to catch the birds. AAARRRGGGG!!!!

What had me frustrated the most was the fact that my company knew Wednesday night that I did not have to be at the hospital in the morning and did not bother to tell me. I know that most of the staffers quit, and that we are working and breaking in new ones but it has been two weeks start putting it together.

Raining

I woke up this morning and it is raining here again. I know it should be no surprise look where I live. I personally like the rain, I love laying in bed and listening to it fall on the carport. The sound is relaxing and hypnotic. I know that when it rains it is usually a good day at work, the rain and the dark clouds seem to mellow the patients out.

I know I have been blogging about work a lot. I think I am starting to get a bit of burn out. It is not the patients, or the docs, or even the administration. I think it is me. I need a change. Not in the weather or where I live or even my job. Just some sort of change.

I am going on vacation for a week to Idaho but that is not until the end of June. I am so looking forward to that. My Honey said that I can get my birthday present then, and she has given me a good one. I miss her so much.

Yesterday at work as I was leaving the hospital I was following two women out, I could not see their faces but they made me feel so happy and sad at the same time. One of them reached over and took the others hand. They walked out of the hospital that way. I did notice people staring at them, and I sorely wished that Honey and I lived close enough that we could do that.

News Media

I so looooove the news media, and I say that with all the eye rolling sarcasm that I can manage. A few months ago the news media was all over MRSA the big bad NEW scary staff infection. Schools closed when kids were diagnosed with having it. Everyone had to be on alert it was going to sneak up and bite you. Well, yes it is bad and nasty, yes it can make you very sick and even kill you. BUT it has been recognized as a disease sense 1968, everyone who has ever set foot in a hospital, a mall, or any other place where there are lager groups of people have come in contact with MRSA.

This time around it is all about C-Diff. C-Diff is one nasty scary bug it is hard to get rid of easy to get. For C-Diff all the had sanitizer in the world will not help. Only soap and water gets it off the skin.

This year we were to have had a horrible flu season, at least according to the news. I work full time in the hospital and I only saw 3 cases of diagnosed flu. Three out of more than a thousand patients that I have had sense December.

I think the news grabs a disease and runs with it getting their information from other news sources. If a disease comes out on the news and it makes you afraid. That is what they want, do what they don't want get informed. Go to medical web sites most of them are out there for everyone to read.

Birthday Wishes

Yesterday even tho I posted and went about my day I was in a rather "whatever" mood. I was so bad that I had people commenting on it. It lasted until I talked to Honey last night, I think we had fun but I am moving to far forward.

I got home and we had chicken for dinner and I was still in that funk. I made lemon bars, yummy. My brother asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I did the honorable thing and lied, I told him I don't know, when I knew what I wanted. W hat if you could have your hearts desire would you want? World peace does not count. This is for a selfish wish, the new car, Pyrex measuring cups, or whatever you want but that you cannot say.

Then took a long hot bath. When I was in the tub my phone started to chirp, I had missed a call or a txt. Not in a hurry to get out of the water I let it annoyingly beep for about 20 minutes. After I got dressed I picked up the phone to see why it was beeping and it rang almost made me toss it across the room it startled me so much. It was Honey. She and I talked about things for a while, the news, NY decision on recognizing gay marriages from out of state, the whale in The Sound. Then just before our phone batteries died she told me what my birthday gift is going to be. I just have to wait for it. That is a month until I can collect, and Honey if you are reading this I will collect.

She is giving me one of the most wonderful things she can. She knows what it is and I know what it is and if you have any imagination you can figure it out.

Hospitals

I am amazed at the things people do to themselves. At the hospital a lot of the patients that I see come in with things that they could have prevented. There is a kid who is going to loose both his legs because he used a dirty needle and then did not seek treatment when the injection sites got infected. The 2 pack a day smoker who goes out of the hospital to smoke and when he comes back inside has to have breathing treatments just so his lungs don't stop working.

There are illnesses, accidents, births, operations that come through. I want out of the medical field but I am scared to leave. I know that the EDs are full of people who should go to their Dr. not the hospital. I know how many empty beds that we have on a given day. I also know that because I am in nursing, that if there were an outbreak or a natural disaster of some sort and my son or I needed treatment we would get it. Only so that I could keep working, to take care of everyone else out there.

I work in a 200 bed hospital, and twice last week we had to shut the doors because we had people in beds on the halls, and not just in the ED. Not good. What if there were a disaster, or an outbreak. We would have to send them away. I know that because we were full that meant the other 3 hospitals in the town were full too. Scary.

Late in life

Today is all about being late. I am running late for work but if I am going to blog more I have to do it in the early morning. The reason being is that I am still in the closet to them. They think that I have no desire to date, that is not true. I wish that Honey and I lived close enough to date.

I was thinking about something I read and how more and more women my age are admitting to themselves that they are either bi or lesbians. I don't know about others but for me it is the fact that I have come to realize that for me to be happy I have to admit who I am and not what people expect me to be.

I got married because that was expected of me, after my divorce I let others think I was more promiscuous than I was. All to look like I were "normal". Well, "normal" did not make me happy. It made me ambivalent. Yes, there are some good looking men out there just as there are some good looking women. None compare to my Honey she is beautiful.

Is this a late awakening in life or is it that I can finally be free to be who I am?