I need some help from people out there who have had cats before. I am ready to take Mabon back to the pound. I have never had a cat so I don't get what is going on with her and I have had it. She will only use her litter box twice, then if she has to go she will go on the floor. Yes, I do scoop it out every morning, and yes I am using the same litter I have sense I first got her.
If something does not change in a week she will be going back on Saturday. Oh, and she has checked out with the vet. If I catch her going to the bathroom on the carpet she will then again use the litter box.
Oh, and she has checked out with the vet. So, if anyone out there has any ideas at all can you let me know. Maybe, I am just not meant to have a cat.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Monarch Park Pics
I Love this Dragonfly.
She was one of the last to be seen on the path out of the park.
Can you spot the diver?
This one was hidden in the Monarch Maze.
I just could not pass up getting a picture of this little girl playing with the butterflies.
Hidden behind a giant croquet set I found this path.
Flower bed. Nuff said.
Monarch in the park, at the entrance to the bird houses.
She was one of the last to be seen on the path out of the park.
Can you spot the diver?
This one was hidden in the Monarch Maze.
I just could not pass up getting a picture of this little girl playing with the butterflies.
Hidden behind a giant croquet set I found this path.
Flower bed. Nuff said.
Monarch in the park, at the entrance to the bird houses.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Posting
I am a sporadic blogger at best and this winter I have been at my lowest in blogging at least I think that I have. That is mostly because I don't have a lot to talk about. I work, I sleep, I sleep, I work, I go to the library and grocery shop. Wooohooo exciting stuff.
That I have decided is going to change and it started last time I had a run of days off. I know that I live in one of the most totally awesome parts of the country if not the world. So I am going to start doing the things that I have wanted to do but have always put off.
Last week I went to Monarch Park. It was a wonderful drive out there. The sun was out and it was just warm enough to have the window down on the car. The fresh air felt good, as did seeing the start of spring.
I got some great pics of the park and some of the country side. Next time I plan on going out to to Mima Mounds.
That I have decided is going to change and it started last time I had a run of days off. I know that I live in one of the most totally awesome parts of the country if not the world. So I am going to start doing the things that I have wanted to do but have always put off.
Last week I went to Monarch Park. It was a wonderful drive out there. The sun was out and it was just warm enough to have the window down on the car. The fresh air felt good, as did seeing the start of spring.
I got some great pics of the park and some of the country side. Next time I plan on going out to to Mima Mounds.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Friday
Friday I went to the library. I love going to the library when I have the time to brouse the books and see what I am going to find. I found a book called Celtic Astrology How the Mystical Powers of the Druid Tree Signs Can Transform Your Life by Phyllis Vega. The book looks great, I have flipped through the pages and can't wait to read it.
I did read the tree sign for Honey she is an Birch, and mine is a Hawthorn. However, it makes me gag reading the book. The thing is I work in an almost sent free environment, none of the staff wears perfume, they have to smoke 3 floors down and about 1/2 a block from the hospital. That means that by the time they get back upstairs the smell is almost gone.
This wonderful book that I so long to look at smells like old cigarette smoke. It is so bad that just opening the pages makes me want to gag and my eyes start to water and get itichy. I am going to have to take the book back unread and hope that in a few weeks I can get it back and see if I can read it then.
This is only the second book that I have been unable to read that I have gotten from the library.
I did read the tree sign for Honey she is an Birch, and mine is a Hawthorn. However, it makes me gag reading the book. The thing is I work in an almost sent free environment, none of the staff wears perfume, they have to smoke 3 floors down and about 1/2 a block from the hospital. That means that by the time they get back upstairs the smell is almost gone.
This wonderful book that I so long to look at smells like old cigarette smoke. It is so bad that just opening the pages makes me want to gag and my eyes start to water and get itichy. I am going to have to take the book back unread and hope that in a few weeks I can get it back and see if I can read it then.
This is only the second book that I have been unable to read that I have gotten from the library.
Friday, February 12, 2010
The Eagles and other stuff
I have not been here in a while and I know that as a sporadic poster I can do better. I don't know if I will try or not.
Last week was not a good one. I injured my shoulder at work, and on the 18Th will start physical therapy. The worst thing about this is not the pain or even the worse much worse sudden pain when I sneeze, it that I cannot get any over time. Not to mention that with the pain came good old Auntie Flo, and this time she was in a weepy, self pity mode.
Then to top it off the heater in my car has been sporadic is not working at all unless I get on the freeway. I will one day have to get that looked at. It is really strange the fan works just fine I just don't get any heat unless I am going over 40mph. Whatever...
I am going to be reloading my iportablemusicplayer in a few days so I am loading all of my Cd's onto my laptop. I need a bigger laptop. I am finding a music treasure that I did not know I had.
Also a big thing has happened with Honey and myself, no we have not broken up. We have both come to the conclusion that even if I move down to where she is at we will not be able to be together the way that we want to be. Her mom is well, her mom.
The other big news that I have is that on April 30Th Honey and I are going to see The Eagles in concert. Wooohoooo!!!! I can't wait and all of this excitement is not about seeing The Eagles, most of it is about seeing Honey again. November seems so far in the past.
Time to try and get in a nap.
Last week was not a good one. I injured my shoulder at work, and on the 18Th will start physical therapy. The worst thing about this is not the pain or even the worse much worse sudden pain when I sneeze, it that I cannot get any over time. Not to mention that with the pain came good old Auntie Flo, and this time she was in a weepy, self pity mode.
Then to top it off the heater in my car has been sporadic is not working at all unless I get on the freeway. I will one day have to get that looked at. It is really strange the fan works just fine I just don't get any heat unless I am going over 40mph. Whatever...
I am going to be reloading my iportablemusicplayer in a few days so I am loading all of my Cd's onto my laptop. I need a bigger laptop. I am finding a music treasure that I did not know I had.
Also a big thing has happened with Honey and myself, no we have not broken up. We have both come to the conclusion that even if I move down to where she is at we will not be able to be together the way that we want to be. Her mom is well, her mom.
The other big news that I have is that on April 30Th Honey and I are going to see The Eagles in concert. Wooohoooo!!!! I can't wait and all of this excitement is not about seeing The Eagles, most of it is about seeing Honey again. November seems so far in the past.
Time to try and get in a nap.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Ranch House BBQ Yummy
I love me some good food. I really don't care what kind it is as long as it is fresh, tasty and yummy. So this past week a friend of mine and I went to the Ranch House BBQ. All I have to say about that place is OMG!!
OK, I will say a bit more about it. I will try to get my facts right but I might get some wrong it is not deliberate it is just because it is midnight and I need coffee.
First some history of the place. The Ranch House is run, owned by Amy Anderson and partner Melanie Tapia who has won several awards for their BBQ and has also been on the Food Network. They have competed under the name Mad Momma & the Kids, the awards include national, state, and they have even gone on to the World Championship in Ireland in 2000.
They opened the restaurant in 2004 about 10 miles or so out side of Olympia heading down HW8. Then in December 2007 disaster struck. The restaurant was taken out by a mudslide, still just inside Thurston County the ladies were not on the FEMA list for help, and the sites insurance did not cover "land movement". Many people were ready to say good by to the restaurant.
Just days after the disaster the Governor Hotel in downtown Olympia gave lease free the use of their empty restaurant space, and a fund was set up at a local bank to help with the rebuilding.
Feb, 2009 they were able to reopen on the original location, and the place is going strong. What does this have to do with food?
When I ate there I had the brisket sandwich with a side of coleslaw with vinegar and a side of beans. I could have licked the bean pot clean if they had let me back in the kitchen and beans are not my favorite. Also H and I split a platter of garlic cheese fries my mouth is watering just thinking of them. I was the only one who was not listening to how full I was and ordered a slice of home made BOURBON PECAN PIE. I died and went to BBQ heaven. I will be going back there are a lot more items to try.
If I were a food critic this restaurant would get 200 stars out of a possible 10. So anyone who is heading up this way wants a good place to eat and does not mind a short drive Ranch House BBQ is the way to go.
OK, I will say a bit more about it. I will try to get my facts right but I might get some wrong it is not deliberate it is just because it is midnight and I need coffee.
First some history of the place. The Ranch House is run, owned by Amy Anderson and partner Melanie Tapia who has won several awards for their BBQ and has also been on the Food Network. They have competed under the name Mad Momma & the Kids, the awards include national, state, and they have even gone on to the World Championship in Ireland in 2000.
They opened the restaurant in 2004 about 10 miles or so out side of Olympia heading down HW8. Then in December 2007 disaster struck. The restaurant was taken out by a mudslide, still just inside Thurston County the ladies were not on the FEMA list for help, and the sites insurance did not cover "land movement". Many people were ready to say good by to the restaurant.
Just days after the disaster the Governor Hotel in downtown Olympia gave lease free the use of their empty restaurant space, and a fund was set up at a local bank to help with the rebuilding.
Feb, 2009 they were able to reopen on the original location, and the place is going strong. What does this have to do with food?
When I ate there I had the brisket sandwich with a side of coleslaw with vinegar and a side of beans. I could have licked the bean pot clean if they had let me back in the kitchen and beans are not my favorite. Also H and I split a platter of garlic cheese fries my mouth is watering just thinking of them. I was the only one who was not listening to how full I was and ordered a slice of home made BOURBON PECAN PIE. I died and went to BBQ heaven. I will be going back there are a lot more items to try.
If I were a food critic this restaurant would get 200 stars out of a possible 10. So anyone who is heading up this way wants a good place to eat and does not mind a short drive Ranch House BBQ is the way to go.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Some People
Last week I worked on a floor of the hospital that I get to work on every once in a while. I like working there it is busy, it flows and the nurses have time to help with patient care. So last week Patient A (now going to be referred to as PA) was admitted. PA is 97, has dementia to the point of only being oriented to self, and is jaundice. None of those is a cause to be admitted to the hospital.
I should explain that oriented to self means that the person does not know where they are, what year it is, who anyone is. All they know is that they are there, no one or nothing else exists. This is a very simple definition but it works.
So, back to PA. PA is in for a blood transfusion that is it, the patent is not eating, hardly drinks anything and just hollers for CG. PA yells for CG so loudly that the shouts can be heard over the entire floor. Now, there is a CG (short for caregiver, a personal one) none of the nursing staff has ever seen this CG the entire time that PA has been in the hospital, and it has been over a week.
I am telling you this is that CG is getting the entire staff at the hospital angry with him. Why?
The reason is simple, PA is in the last stages of life, and needs to go on to the Summer land. What we at the hospital are doing is worse than torture. PA does not understand the reason behind turning so not to get bedsores, does not understand taking of blood for labs, or the machines that peep all the time, or why strangers come in and out doing things. PA does know that this is scary and has no control over what is happening.
PA's power of attorney is CG. CG is a paid caregiver not a relative. The longer PA is alive the more money CG will get. The Dr. said that the only reason PA is in the hospital is because CG wants the money, and that CG is tired of dealing with PA. However, if PA goes into long term care then CG gets no cash ola.
OK so this post does not make a lot of sense. I just wanted to rant about how some people need to get their heads out of the money train a$$, and take a look at real life.
I should explain that oriented to self means that the person does not know where they are, what year it is, who anyone is. All they know is that they are there, no one or nothing else exists. This is a very simple definition but it works.
So, back to PA. PA is in for a blood transfusion that is it, the patent is not eating, hardly drinks anything and just hollers for CG. PA yells for CG so loudly that the shouts can be heard over the entire floor. Now, there is a CG (short for caregiver, a personal one) none of the nursing staff has ever seen this CG the entire time that PA has been in the hospital, and it has been over a week.
I am telling you this is that CG is getting the entire staff at the hospital angry with him. Why?
The reason is simple, PA is in the last stages of life, and needs to go on to the Summer land. What we at the hospital are doing is worse than torture. PA does not understand the reason behind turning so not to get bedsores, does not understand taking of blood for labs, or the machines that peep all the time, or why strangers come in and out doing things. PA does know that this is scary and has no control over what is happening.
PA's power of attorney is CG. CG is a paid caregiver not a relative. The longer PA is alive the more money CG will get. The Dr. said that the only reason PA is in the hospital is because CG wants the money, and that CG is tired of dealing with PA. However, if PA goes into long term care then CG gets no cash ola.
OK so this post does not make a lot of sense. I just wanted to rant about how some people need to get their heads out of the money train a$$, and take a look at real life.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
I am a Gemini
I think that my twins in the realm of Gemini are more like sextuplets.
On New Years Eve, a friend (H) and I went to Tugboat Annies for an Irish Hooley, that involves music, food, and drink. The Hooley started at 2pm and was to get over at 4pm midnight in Dublin. On the way there I decided to take the freeway, wrong choice it was dead stopped. So off to the surface streets I go. Now, H and I were to meet up at 12:45 to get to the restaurant by 1:00.
I hate to be late, hate it hate it hate it. So off on the streets I go. I have 10 minutes to get to her house and then ten to get to the restaurant. I will make it. Nope. This is what happened and shows just how crazy this girl can get.
At the first traffic light I come to I am the second car in the line. The light is green and the car in front of me is sitting there with the left turn signal on. We, are in the GO STRAIGHT lane. My phone rings and here is what I can remember of the conversation.
"Hello", I say.
"Hi." Its my brother. "Did you pay something on the ----- bill?"
"SONOFABITCH!!! Yes I did but I did not have the code so that I could not see the full amount."
"That is great, I went to pay it and most of it was taken care of." he says.
"Good how much was left on the bill? MOTHERFOGETTHEHELLOUTOFMYWAY!!" HOOOONK!!!!" Do I have to pay anymore or is it OK for now?"
"No its good. Are you honking your horn?"
"Yes, some DIPSHITFCKWAD is in the lane in front of me and won't go. He wants to turn left from the straight lane." HOOOOONNNNKKKK!!! "MOVEYOURASSYOUBASTARD!!! Shit the light just turned red."
"Oh OK, good to see that drivers are the same everywhere."
"Why the hell can't he pull up and turn around in the store on the corner?"
"I think that would be to easy."
"WOOHOOO! The left turn light just turned and he turned left in front of an SUV came inches from being hit."
"Well, thanks for paying on the bill, I will talk to you later."
"K. Bye."
On New Years Eve, a friend (H) and I went to Tugboat Annies for an Irish Hooley, that involves music, food, and drink. The Hooley started at 2pm and was to get over at 4pm midnight in Dublin. On the way there I decided to take the freeway, wrong choice it was dead stopped. So off to the surface streets I go. Now, H and I were to meet up at 12:45 to get to the restaurant by 1:00.
I hate to be late, hate it hate it hate it. So off on the streets I go. I have 10 minutes to get to her house and then ten to get to the restaurant. I will make it. Nope. This is what happened and shows just how crazy this girl can get.
At the first traffic light I come to I am the second car in the line. The light is green and the car in front of me is sitting there with the left turn signal on. We, are in the GO STRAIGHT lane. My phone rings and here is what I can remember of the conversation.
"Hello", I say.
"Hi." Its my brother. "Did you pay something on the ----- bill?"
"SONOFABITCH!!! Yes I did but I did not have the code so that I could not see the full amount."
"That is great, I went to pay it and most of it was taken care of." he says.
"Good how much was left on the bill? MOTHERFOGETTHEHELLOUTOFMYWAY!!" HOOOONK!!!!" Do I have to pay anymore or is it OK for now?"
"No its good. Are you honking your horn?"
"Yes, some DIPSHITFCKWAD is in the lane in front of me and won't go. He wants to turn left from the straight lane." HOOOOONNNNKKKK!!! "MOVEYOURASSYOUBASTARD!!! Shit the light just turned red."
"Oh OK, good to see that drivers are the same everywhere."
"Why the hell can't he pull up and turn around in the store on the corner?"
"I think that would be to easy."
"WOOHOOO! The left turn light just turned and he turned left in front of an SUV came inches from being hit."
"Well, thanks for paying on the bill, I will talk to you later."
"K. Bye."
Friday, January 01, 2010
Yippie!!!
The holidays are over. Life can get back to normal and I will fell like a human again, able to go and hang out at the bookstores and not get mobbed, get a cup of coffee and not have to rush because everyone else is in a hurry.
I worked the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and I work again tonight. I don't mind I mean it is just me and the animals. So this year I did not even decorate, kill a tree or any of that. It felt wonderful, I do admit that I missed the smell of the tree in the house but then to get that smell all I have to do is open the windows.
Mabon is becoming more relaxed around me. I don't know if her past owners were mean to her or not but she is just now starting to play with other things besides the red bug.
I hung my new calender up today. Honey got it for me for Christmas it is a Nene Thomas I love her art work.
I have been exhausted, the management decided that it would be a good time to trim all of the trees on the property. That is great but they did not give notice that the noise level was going to explode, if they had I would not have picked up extra shits. If I call out on an extra shift the hospital won't let me work over time for a year. Arrrggg!!!! It frustrates me to think about it. Oh well, they are not here today and I am off to bed. Night all.
I worked the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and I work again tonight. I don't mind I mean it is just me and the animals. So this year I did not even decorate, kill a tree or any of that. It felt wonderful, I do admit that I missed the smell of the tree in the house but then to get that smell all I have to do is open the windows.
Mabon is becoming more relaxed around me. I don't know if her past owners were mean to her or not but she is just now starting to play with other things besides the red bug.
I hung my new calender up today. Honey got it for me for Christmas it is a Nene Thomas I love her art work.
I have been exhausted, the management decided that it would be a good time to trim all of the trees on the property. That is great but they did not give notice that the noise level was going to explode, if they had I would not have picked up extra shits. If I call out on an extra shift the hospital won't let me work over time for a year. Arrrggg!!!! It frustrates me to think about it. Oh well, they are not here today and I am off to bed. Night all.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Why I have not been posting.
There are sugar cookies, flour less chocolate-walnut cookies, chocolate covered cherries cookies, molasses cookies, peppermint bark, and not pictured dark chocolate peppermint bark, peanut brittle.Sunday, November 29, 2009
Like Most
Like most people at this time of year I have no desire to write, or not much of one.
Two weeks ago Honey came up for a visit I am so tired of being so far apart but for now I can't afford to move and well she can't. When she was here I realized that when we do get to finally be together that it will work out. I was afraid that it would not because she does not like Brussels Sprouts, but I realized that we can work around that. No, the week went very well. We went out to breakfast at my favorite breakfast restaurant the New Moon Cafe. Then wandered about downtown, going where we both wanted to. I did make her go into the comic book store, I am such a geek.
Then at night we made dinner, read to each other. I bought her a copy of my favorite Christmas book The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson. We read that to each other while drinking some really good petite Shara. We watched a movie or two, and just hung out. I loved that week. It seems like forever ago.
Today the 29Th my son turns 18, so I am making me a cake as I am the one who did all of the work. Packing him around for 9+ months (he was 3 weeks late), puking my guts out, pushing out a nine pound kid out of a little tiny hole, and he was just there for the ride. So, I am making me a Red Velvet Cake my most favorite cake in the world. Then later today myself and some friends of ours are going to try and utterly humiliate him, long distance as he is going to school in another state.
Mabon, my cat is getting use to me. She in starting to sleep on the bed and become more playful.
Work is... I hate working during the holidays. Do you know what the major complaint of people coming to the hospital is during this time of year? Nausea and vomiting!!! Big surprise, OD on turkey, pie, other rich foods and drinks. Then what happens, the body revolts. All, we can do unless it is something like pancreatitis or appendicitis is let them puke in a bucket and give I.V fluids until all the food and drink is gone. Sorry, about that rant.
Jude, you have my support and I am pulling for you.
Next week I work 6 days. Whoohoo 6 twelve hour shifts, two on, one off, four on. I think I am going to say something stupid to a patient. I hope not. I will have to remember to write up a post about my work pet peeves sometime.
Well, I need a nap before I start the cake and the rest of my day.
Two weeks ago Honey came up for a visit I am so tired of being so far apart but for now I can't afford to move and well she can't. When she was here I realized that when we do get to finally be together that it will work out. I was afraid that it would not because she does not like Brussels Sprouts, but I realized that we can work around that. No, the week went very well. We went out to breakfast at my favorite breakfast restaurant the New Moon Cafe. Then wandered about downtown, going where we both wanted to. I did make her go into the comic book store, I am such a geek.
Then at night we made dinner, read to each other. I bought her a copy of my favorite Christmas book The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson. We read that to each other while drinking some really good petite Shara. We watched a movie or two, and just hung out. I loved that week. It seems like forever ago.
Today the 29Th my son turns 18, so I am making me a cake as I am the one who did all of the work. Packing him around for 9+ months (he was 3 weeks late), puking my guts out, pushing out a nine pound kid out of a little tiny hole, and he was just there for the ride. So, I am making me a Red Velvet Cake my most favorite cake in the world. Then later today myself and some friends of ours are going to try and utterly humiliate him, long distance as he is going to school in another state.
Mabon, my cat is getting use to me. She in starting to sleep on the bed and become more playful.
Work is... I hate working during the holidays. Do you know what the major complaint of people coming to the hospital is during this time of year? Nausea and vomiting!!! Big surprise, OD on turkey, pie, other rich foods and drinks. Then what happens, the body revolts. All, we can do unless it is something like pancreatitis or appendicitis is let them puke in a bucket and give I.V fluids until all the food and drink is gone. Sorry, about that rant.
Jude, you have my support and I am pulling for you.
Next week I work 6 days. Whoohoo 6 twelve hour shifts, two on, one off, four on. I think I am going to say something stupid to a patient. I hope not. I will have to remember to write up a post about my work pet peeves sometime.
Well, I need a nap before I start the cake and the rest of my day.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Veterans Day
Thank you to our Veterans. You make my heart soar, and weep. Thank you for all that you have done, will do and will continue to do. 
Friday, November 06, 2009
A Storm
When I went to bed today I was laying there almost asleep when thunder shook my windows it was so loud that I thought I was going to have to duck and cover. Then I heard what I thought was someone tossing rocks at my window. It was not rocks, all I can say is that I am glad my car was under the carport.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
October 23
Today my dad would have been 74. He has been gone now for 4 years this December, just before Christmas. I still miss him.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
This Man Made Me Cry
Maine is fighting for marriage rights. I know that Pam' House Blend has been doing some wonderful reports on what is going on there. I saw this video over at her place and Mr. Spooner I just want to say thank you.
I tried to get the video to upload on here but I could not do it. I will have to figure it out when I am not so worn out. So here is the link to see and hear what Mr. Phillip Spooner said. It is well worth the three minutes to watch.
This man is a hero in so many ways, not just because he supports Marriage Equality, or that he is a WWII Veteran. But because he is both.
I tried to get the video to upload on here but I could not do it. I will have to figure it out when I am not so worn out. So here is the link to see and hear what Mr. Phillip Spooner said. It is well worth the three minutes to watch.
This man is a hero in so many ways, not just because he supports Marriage Equality, or that he is a WWII Veteran. But because he is both.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
National Coming Out Day
I have read some of the other coming out stories that people have posted on blogs and I love reading them. So in honor of Nation Coming Out Day, I am going to post about mine. I am going to post about the hardest one that I had to come out to, myself.
When I was about 19 I got married, just because I thought that is what I was supposed to do. After I got married I got pregnant and I would not change having my son for anything. He was the best thing to happen to me. When I was about 4 months pregnant I moved to another state and my soon to be ex followed for about a week, then he left. After the divorce I had no interest in being in a relationship, even the thought of dating a man had no interest for me. I just thought that it was from having that failed marriage.
Years went by; I mean like 15 no dates, no desire to go out on one. I thought, still being the good girl, that men were my only option. It is not that I don’t like men, I do, they are great to tease, watch football with, or play video games with.
Then one day I was online in a chat room and started talking to this person. She and I would be online most nights at about the same time, as would another girl. After about a year there was a concert that we all wanted to go to in Idaho. So we decided that we were going to meet there. At that first meeting nothing happened we just became closer friends. As the next year went by we began talking on the phone more, less online.
Then three months before a bunch of us (7) were to get together in New Jersey, I thought I had fallen in love with her. I did convince myself that it was not love but a deep friendship, that the only reason that I was feeling that love was because it had been 15 years, and I was lonely. Then came the trip, boy was I wrong.
Talk about an identity crisis. Every time I looked at her I got the shakes, my insides would turn all quivery and not in a good way. I was terrified, of her of me. Everyone kept asking what was wrong was I ok. How could I tell them, these were people that I knew, people that I trust and that trusted me?
When I was finally able to talk to her about what I was feeling, what I was going through. She said that she wished she could help me, that I was her friend and that seeing me torn up like this was hurting her. But, she did not love me that way. I cried myself to sleep in the Philly airport when she got on the plane to go back to CA.
For three more months we talked and emailed, and as those months rolled along I became more comfortable with myself, my new found truth. Then one day, three months later she told me that she loved me too. That was about three years ago, she is now my Honey. As for me I am happier than I have ever been.
So I came out to myself at age 36.
When I was about 19 I got married, just because I thought that is what I was supposed to do. After I got married I got pregnant and I would not change having my son for anything. He was the best thing to happen to me. When I was about 4 months pregnant I moved to another state and my soon to be ex followed for about a week, then he left. After the divorce I had no interest in being in a relationship, even the thought of dating a man had no interest for me. I just thought that it was from having that failed marriage.
Years went by; I mean like 15 no dates, no desire to go out on one. I thought, still being the good girl, that men were my only option. It is not that I don’t like men, I do, they are great to tease, watch football with, or play video games with.
Then one day I was online in a chat room and started talking to this person. She and I would be online most nights at about the same time, as would another girl. After about a year there was a concert that we all wanted to go to in Idaho. So we decided that we were going to meet there. At that first meeting nothing happened we just became closer friends. As the next year went by we began talking on the phone more, less online.
Then three months before a bunch of us (7) were to get together in New Jersey, I thought I had fallen in love with her. I did convince myself that it was not love but a deep friendship, that the only reason that I was feeling that love was because it had been 15 years, and I was lonely. Then came the trip, boy was I wrong.
Talk about an identity crisis. Every time I looked at her I got the shakes, my insides would turn all quivery and not in a good way. I was terrified, of her of me. Everyone kept asking what was wrong was I ok. How could I tell them, these were people that I knew, people that I trust and that trusted me?
When I was finally able to talk to her about what I was feeling, what I was going through. She said that she wished she could help me, that I was her friend and that seeing me torn up like this was hurting her. But, she did not love me that way. I cried myself to sleep in the Philly airport when she got on the plane to go back to CA.
For three more months we talked and emailed, and as those months rolled along I became more comfortable with myself, my new found truth. Then one day, three months later she told me that she loved me too. That was about three years ago, she is now my Honey. As for me I am happier than I have ever been.
So I came out to myself at age 36.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
HELP! I need advice.
Each October I buy a new breast cancer tee shirt. I have one that says "Caught you looking at my tatas", "boobs rock", and "My lucky tatas". I love these shirts I do get dirty looks wearing them or I get people who really like them. I do like the dirty looks the best. This year however, I did not see any in the women's shirts that I like so I went to see what Save the Tatas have for men. I have found three that I like.
I would get all three of them, but I am in desperate need of new scrubs for work and those are not cheap so I am limited to one. I would like some input on the shirts that I am thinking about. Here is #1 Tee shirt and this is # 2 Tee shirt and this is #3 Tee shirt.
So if you want to vote for a Tee, just leave a message in the comments.
I would get all three of them, but I am in desperate need of new scrubs for work and those are not cheap so I am limited to one. I would like some input on the shirts that I am thinking about. Here is #1 Tee shirt and this is # 2 Tee shirt and this is #3 Tee shirt.
So if you want to vote for a Tee, just leave a message in the comments.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
So What is in you Music Player
I was listening and uploading more songs to my ipoop and it got me wondering what else or who else others are listening to. I have songs that I change out on mine and some that will never get taken off. So here is a list of what is always and stays on my iPoop.
Chick Habit by April March
Mercy by Duffy the acoustic version
Closer to Fine by The Indigo Girls with Brandi Carlile acoustic version
Short Skirt/Long Jacket by Cake
One by Metallica
I Don't Feel Like Dancin' by Scissor Sisters
Come on Eileen by Dexie's Midnight Runners
Thought the Fire and Flames by Dragonforce
No More Cloudy Days by The Eagles
The Joker and Hallelujah by k d lang
(I'll Be Glad When You're Dead) You Rascal You by Louie Armstrong
Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourn
Orange Sky by Alex Murdoch
Come to My Window by Melissa Etheridge the acoustic version
The Boxer by Carbon Leaf the acoustic version
So what songs stay on you music player?
Chick Habit by April March
Mercy by Duffy the acoustic version
Closer to Fine by The Indigo Girls with Brandi Carlile acoustic version
Short Skirt/Long Jacket by Cake
One by Metallica
I Don't Feel Like Dancin' by Scissor Sisters
Come on Eileen by Dexie's Midnight Runners
Thought the Fire and Flames by Dragonforce
No More Cloudy Days by The Eagles
The Joker and Hallelujah by k d lang
(I'll Be Glad When You're Dead) You Rascal You by Louie Armstrong
Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourn
Orange Sky by Alex Murdoch
Come to My Window by Melissa Etheridge the acoustic version
The Boxer by Carbon Leaf the acoustic version
So what songs stay on you music player?
Friday, October 02, 2009
Brain Deadedness and Some Good News
OK, so I know that deadedness is not a work. However, that seems to be where I am stuck at right now. I don't even know if that is the proper term for what I am not feeling. I am an avid reader, in a typical day I can easily get through 2 books of 300+ pages. Lately I have not been able to get thought one. Even my favorite author holds no interest for me and I have been waiting for his new book for months now.
I know I am not depressed, I have been there before and this is not the same. It is not a lack of attention span. It is almost as if I have read, seen or done every thing that there is. I want something new and there is nothing new out there. Even games that I love are holding no interest for me.
I think I need to see about taking a class somewhere for something. Maybe take up painting, or pottery making, or ASL or something.
The good news is that in November Honey is coming up here. I am so excited it seems like forever sense I last saw her. I actually think it was 4 years ago, I know it was only in September but still that was years and years ago.
Oh for those of you in Washington state if there is anyone else out there from here. Remember to vote Approve on Ref 71.
I know I am not depressed, I have been there before and this is not the same. It is not a lack of attention span. It is almost as if I have read, seen or done every thing that there is. I want something new and there is nothing new out there. Even games that I love are holding no interest for me.
I think I need to see about taking a class somewhere for something. Maybe take up painting, or pottery making, or ASL or something.
The good news is that in November Honey is coming up here. I am so excited it seems like forever sense I last saw her. I actually think it was 4 years ago, I know it was only in September but still that was years and years ago.
Oh for those of you in Washington state if there is anyone else out there from here. Remember to vote Approve on Ref 71.
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