Yesterday

Yesterday was Memorial Day. I know that I should have posted something about it when I got up in the morning, but I could not. I live in a base community and we have flags out in honor of all the people who have lost their lives in this and in past wars. My family on both sides has had someone in every war this country has been in, and even before then. Both sides came over here before the Revolutionary war. I have lost great uncles, cousins, people who I have only heard stories about. My grandfather was in WWII, he lost brothers there. My dad served in peace time. I have cousins serving now.

Today I can think about them. Yesterday it would have been to much to think about. All the activities, sales, camping, and parties for the three day weekend. I want to say thank you all who have served and who still do.

Work

I am like a subcontractor at work. I am employed by a company that sends me out to hospitals to work for the hospital and usually they are on top of my work week. Well, this week there is a problem. I was told that I would be in a clinic for the week starting at 830am. Great, I get to sleep in. Right, wrong. The clinic decided over two weeks ago that they did not need my services and because of that I now get to work on the hospital floor a 6am start. Great, no sleeping in. Right, WRONG. It turns out that the person who schedules me did not change the computer and now they can't call the clinic as they are closed until Tuesday BUT, I still have to work today. It took 4 days for them to get today straightend out. I still don't know what I am to work Tuesday and the office is closed today for the holiday.

Now this in not the average on what happens. They are usually so good at having things worked out, I don't know if someone forgot to change the computer or if there is a whole big mess up. I guess I will find out at later.

Long Distance

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I did not work and so I did a bunch of errands went to the library, farmers market, the mall, and a few other stores. Days like that are when I miss Honey the most. She told me that it had been raining where she lives and that all she wanted to do was light a fire, unfold the hid-a-bed, and lay there with me and watch it rain. I on the other hand wanted her here, to wander about the market with, to shop with and to just spend the day with her.

I knew that when we agreed that we are a couple that having a long distance relationship would be hard. I just did not know how hard. Having said that I would not end this relationship for anything. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone. (Well, that is a bit of an awkward statement, the Boy I love more than I have ever loved anyone, but any parent will know that it is not the same kind of love.)

It is to early for me to start counting the days but having said how hard it is to be in a long distance relationship, we are going to meet up again. This time in Idaho for five days. I get five days with her. To talk to and hold and be with her. I know why Idaho, lets just say that were we are going has special meaning for us. We are also not going alone. Our friend from NJ is going to be there too, and as we have not seen each other in a year this will be a wonderful trip.

Today is the second time that I have been woken up by my upstairs neighbors. I know that they are having sex, it does not sound like making love. Their bed is so loud that it sounds like a washer out of balance. Today and yesterday at 3am. Thud thud thud with an occasional squeak tossed in for variety. So I am going to go back to bed.

Gay Marrage in California

This morning and until I had my lunch break I held my breath. The TV in one of my patients rooms is kept on the news and every time I would go in there I would look to see what story was on. It was not until I went to lunch and was able to get on the Internet that I read the news. I was so thrilled and happy when I went back out on the floor that people kept asking me if I had gotten good news. Good News, Wonderful News. When I move to CA in a few years Honey and I have the option of getting married. No worrying about hospital visits, decisions, legal issues. I know that I live in Washington and that we have rights as partners but not as wife and wife. There is to me a big difference.

What has me so excited about CA judges upholding marriage is that CA is a trend setting state for a lot of things. Laws, what is "cool", even my work is influenced by what CA hospitals are doing. Tonight I will celebrate a victory for love, and commitment. I would love to crash a lesbian wedding and celebrate with them. Share there joy at being happy.

4 to 3. Thank you to those 4 California judges. Thank you very very much.

I did it

I know that to some who have been blogging for a while that getting links added are no big deal but I have added a play list. It was had to choose the music that I like to fit on here. Of course there are some songs not on there. The artists are not popular or the songs are not well known. I tried to add some James Cotton, Charlie Musslewhite but as they are blues only a few songs of theirs are on there, and they are not the best choice.

In June, my Honey and I are getting together for a whole week ok well 5 days. I can't wait, I have plans. We are not going someplace exciting we are just going to a small town in Idaho this trip is to relax and just be together. No meetings, no deadlines except to catch our flights back home.

I am also thinking about going to SF for a weekend. There is a glass artist who is going to have a huge display at the de Young. His name is Dale Chihuly (http://www.chihuly.com/ ) he has some very beautiful glass out there. I will admit that some of it is just plain strange but then he is the artiest and it is his vision not mine. There are some pieces that I would love to see. I will have to see how finances are.

I am also fighting a cold this weekend. I was going to work yesterday but woke up with no energy and a sore throat. Thank the Goddess that today it is nearly gone. Being sick did accomplish one thing I got my bedroom cleaned. I lost the DVD remote and had to find it. Of course it was the only thing under the bed, along with a lost sock, and a newspaper.

Today is Mother's Day wooohoo. Can you hear the sarcasm in that. I don't understand holidays like this, and yes I am a mother. I do have to say that right now the sun is out and that is a wonderful surprise.

Back from the Windy City

Tuesday I left for Chicago and the flight out was ok. I was more excited about seeing my honey then being scared on the plane. I did have a nice smooth flight out and that for me is a great thing as I am not a good one to fly.



I got to the airport and because it was O'Hara the gate where Honeys flight landed changed about 5 times before I got to the right terminal. That is ok because I got in about 30 minutes early just enough time to grab some coffee to help steady my nerves. She flew in with her boss and so we all shared a cab ride over to the hotel. That was a bit awkward as all I wanted to do was touch her.



That is ok once we got into the hotel room there was a lot of touching. She did have to leave and go to the meetings, but we both new that was a part of the deal. I did hate it, but at least she got to come back to me.



On Wednesday we walked to Lake MI as she has never seen any of the great lakes. I love being able to share experiences like that with her. We then went back to the room for more never mind. We also went and saw Wrigley field. I am not a baseball fan and neither is she but it was a neat old building. It is to bad that it is going to be torn down.

Coming back was hard. The flight out was rough lots of turbulence and the seat belt light remained on for most of the flight.

It is not the flight that made it bad coming back home. It is that my Honey and I had to say good by again. I miss her so much, I have an ache that just won't go away when she is not here.

There is good news, we are going to be having a week together at the end of June. A week no meetings, no plans just being together. Then she is talking about December and seeing if we can get tickets to go to and see Cher. I am hoping that these trips will make the time seem shorter until we can actually live together and not have to worry about long good bys.

2 Days

In two days now I am going to see my love again. I don't know why we can't seem to get our timing right but we are both having 'Aunt Flo', visit. I love that antiquated term, it always makes me laugh when I hear it. Aunt Flo, is just one of the many slang terms used for that "time of the month". I am so thankful that when I missed out on the usage of the term "on the Rag." Period is ok, but it reminds me of the end of a sentence. "The curse" sounds like a bad B horror movie. Then there is the "monthly visitor" who stays on for days.

Why is it that something for women that use to be revered and celebrated showing her as a part of the Goddess is now derogatory. It use to not be that way. This was a sign of fertility and from her point of view we should be celebrating this monthly cycle. However, in the male dominated society this is an evil shameful thing. But this is not what I was going to write about.

My lover and I are meeting again in 2 days. I started my visit with Aunt Flo on Saturday, and her Aunt Flo showed up today. How is it that we can live about a thousand miles apart and be on the same cycle? Can you all hear us screaming in frustration, but at least we have other options.

Secret Desire

It is just a about 10 days until I get to see Blue again, and I realize that I am having problems with my thoughts. It is not that I don't want to see her, or that I do not love her anymore. It is how I am thinking of her. She is my girlfriend and I want to think of her as my wife. This is not a new development it is just something that is getting stronger and stronger. I love her and I want to be with her forever. I know that sounds High Schoolish, but right now that is the way that I feel.

I want to tell her that and I know that I gave her the link to this site. I don't know if she reads it or not. We are not the same person and we have our own diffrences. For that I love her, that she loves me for me even when I am in the mood to listen to 99 Dead Baboons or Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep.

Gay bar and Me

This Tuesday I went to my first gay bar. I did not go looking for love or a roll in the hay. I went to see what is was all about and what they had to offer. I went butched up, as I felt more confident that way. Jeans, black t-shirt, white unbuttoned dress shirt, and my leather bomber jacket. I went with a friend I use to work with she went for the Karaoke.

We were carded upon entering and the place looked like a "normal" bar. Stage, dance floor and booze. I was drinking double shots of tequila, H was drinking some fruity thing. We talked and looked around and listened to some good and some bad singers. At about 1am when the place started to empty out a dyke came up to me and we danced to a song. Now I have told Honey all about this so don't worry she knows. The girl was not a bad dancer, however she was so drunk she could hardly talk and she was a smoker. Thank Goddess, it was only one dance. All the spinning was making me dizzy and not from the tequila. H got me something to drink called a cherry bomb. Turns out that had Red Bull in it and after several weeks of High Fructose Corn Syrup free, all that sugar made me ill.

Yes, I know it was the HFCS. I developed shakes, then later that night diarrhea. A Dr. I know said that if you are not use to eating HFCS when you have some again it does give you loose stools. That is good to know if I ever get constipated. Just have a soda and clear it all up.

Just about two weeks until I see Honey again and boy do I have plans for that. No, you can use your own imagination on that.

Boring, the Kid and blood

I really don't have much to say this week. It has been one that is just there. Nothing exciting happened. There was one unusual thing that did take place on Thursday I came home and slept for 12 hours if not more. I was not the only one who was exhausted that night. Honey went to bed early and she never does that. Our friend NJ was exhausted as well. For that to all occur on the same day is strange but I think we all needed the sleep.

Next weeks planes to be a bit more exciting. I am going out to a bar, and it is spring break that week so I get to listen to the boy start whining about being bored on Monday. He is old enough to get a job but I would like him to wait until the summer as all working adults know once you start it is work, work and more work.

He is looking at what he wants to do in the future and I am proud of him for that. I know that he wants an office job and I understand that. I also know that he understands that I am not financially able to send him to a college. So he is looking into apprenticeships in the construction industry so he can earn a descent wage and still attend a college. Go Kid.

I do have one exciting thing to talk about. I did not see it I heard about it. At work yesterday I was in the bowels of hell, I also picked the wrong time to go to lunch. Someone was dropped off at our door. With the jugular artery slit. There was much running about and blood. Why do I miss all the excitement? I do feel bad of the person that this happened to, and I know that they are ok for now. It is not the blood that is exciting it is the learning of how to care for an injury like that. That I missed out on.

Thoughts on a week

During the week I have so many thoughts that I want to post about and then when I finally get a chance to be on the computer I cannot remember most of them. I am sure that some of them are mundane "things" that happen during the work day. I am going to have to start keeping paper with me so I can make notes to myself.

I do know one of the things I want to put on here is about my girlfriend. What I want to write about is one of the reasons that I love her. We have a mutual friend who is not feeling well, and due to the medication that she is taking has gained some weight. My Honey who hates to shop went out and found her some clothes that will fit, and then mailed them off. Not only is she generous but she keeps my head out of the clouds, well most of the time.

I miss her so much. It is hard to have her so far away, I know that right now this is where we both need to be. I can deal with that.

Not about food

My girlfriend who I miss so much was going to come up and see me in about two weeks. I was planing on taking her to some of my favorite places. I do know that not having seen her for so long chances are all she would get to see was what was on the drive from the airport to the hotel and then back.

She is now not coming out here and so our plans have to change. She is being sent to another state for a convention I get to go with her. The thing that is going to disappoint me the most is that she has to be in these meetings. I know it is all a part of life and having a relationship. I do understand that but I want to be selfish and keep her to myself. We have such short time together.

I was talking to a friend of mine about it and if I did not have the commitment that I now have up here. I would pack and move as soon as I could. We talk on the phone every night, but I am lonely for her. I am lonely for her touch, to see her wake in the morning, to tease her, to share my life with her.

I miss you my love.

Sweetness times 3

Just some articles on HFCS, and how it works. To be fair I have listed a site that supports HFCS as well.

http://www.hfcsfacts.com/?gclid=CNPt9vm5kpICFQRaiAodZgzMNg

http://www.sprol.com/?p=236

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/health/2002658491_healthsyrup04.html

Sweetness times two

I have given up High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS), not as an experiment but as a life style change. In doing this for what is now just over a week I have noticed several things, changes, or whatever you want to call them.

The first is change that I have noticed is that I feel better, I am sleeping better, and I have more energy. For me the biggest plus is the sleeping. I have not been a good sleeper at night for a long time and now I am getting at least 6 or more solid hours of sleep a night. This I know has a lot to do with the increase in energy and the feeling better.

I have also noticed that I have a craving, and not for something specific. I don't want chocolate, candy, cake or ice cream. I just want something sweet. That is in its self odd, when I want something it is usually for something specific. So I am wondering if there is some type of withdrawal from the HFCS. I am going to have to do some more looking into this.

I am also looking and searching for good recipes for easy portable snack items. Yes, I know all about fruits and veggies. I do take them with me however, there are times that I want a granola bar, or something along those lines. Things that I cannot find with out HFCS in them I am looking to make and replace them with homemade items. I know that doing this will make me and my family healthier. I do know to that all of this cooking will take time and it will force me to slow down in my life that might be a good thing too.

The other sweetness is that the Governor signed the Domestic Partnership act. What this does is increases the legal benefits of same sex partners. This will cover things like, probate, trust, community property, homestead exemptions, guardianship and powers of attorney. This will also give domestic partners the right NOT to testify against their partner. This expands on the law passed last year that covered hospital visitation, inheritance rights when there is no will, the right to ask for an autopsy and decide on organ donation.

The law also covers ending the partnerships. That is set up much like a divorce, where property, children, debts ext. are considered by the secretary of state IF under 5 years. If the partnership is more than 5 years then the couple would go before superior court.

To count or prove a domestic partnership couples must share a home, be at least 18 and not married or partnered with someone else. All of this goes into effect June 12th.

Oh the Sweetness of it ALL

A trip down diet lane is like walking through a war zone. Everyone has their own opinion on what is to be eaten or not. Do eat bacon, don't eat bacon, only real butter, no only fake butter. Treats of candy no treats at all, meat, no meat. Eat veggies don't eat the (fill in a color) of food here. With all of this going on and what they are finding out about how the body works and what is does with food it should not be so confusing WRONG.

At work I get asked a lot "How fast will I heal?" The answer is very simple I don't know. Why? It is because my body will react to something very differently then yours will. There is no right answer. I think that is the same thing with diet and exercise. I like to lift weights but when I do I end up looking like Popeye. My son who lifts weights just tones up.

With that in mind at least the diet part I have decided to give up one thing. High Fructose Corn Syrup, it is a lot harder then it sounds. That stuff is in everything from canned veggies to BBQ sauce, soda, and well just read a label on something. What makes this hard is finding things that HFCS is not in. It is even in the so called diet items. There is a great article on this in the San Francisco Chronicle (see link). There is also a lot more reading out there on the web about it. One of the things it does is make you want to eat more than you think you should or want to. Anyway, don't believe me read up on it.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/chronicle/archive/2004/02/18/FDGS24VKMH1.DTL

This week vs Today

Last week was bad. I worked in a nursing home where on day shift Ihad 14 people to get up for breakfast. Breakfast starts at 745, I getthere at 600. Talk about alot of stress. I mean how can one person dototal care on 10 people (4 could do much of it by themselves) in anhour and 45 minutes. This all includes, potty, washing up, brushingteeth, combing hair, dressing, any equipment they might need, andfilling portable O2 tanks. It is not possable. To get all of thisdone in under 2 hours leaves alot of care out. Plus in Washingtonstate it it illegal for a CNA to fill to O2 up. However the nurses refuse to do it. So the patients get O2 or not. I am not ever goingback there again.

Some of you know that I have a Honey. Well, the other day we weretalking and I was told I needed to go to the beach to relax. I wouldhave loved to have gone to the ocean but as gas is so HIGH, and Iwould have to be back to get the boy I only went to the state park.Getting out into nature was what I needed Honey was right. This iswhere I went, the picture is not all that great but the park waswonderful. One day I will get a digital camera and get pics that Iwant up here.http://www.parks.wa.gov/parkpage.asp?selectedpark=Tolmie&pageno=1

NOt what I was going to post about

I was going to try and post something about work, my life, lack of sex, and more. However I am at the library sitting next to me is a woman who has so much perfum on that it is making it difficult to breath. I understand that after a while people cannot smell what they put on they become accustom to it. But, she must have used at least half the bottle this morning. WOW!

Now on to the more important things. I now have internet at home, it is only on my brothers computer so bloging from there is still a bit difficult. The library is the best bet. Here with the privacy screens at least no one can read over my shoulder as I type or read up on what is going on in the world (read blogs that I don't want the Boy to see).

Work is work nothing earthshattering there. My life right now is about work, I do know I need to go shopping for a new bra and underwear, as for lack of sex. Not much I can do about that until I can move.

Razors

In December I went to LV with my girlfriend on the trip back the airport security took my toothbrush and my razor. They took the toothbrush because I had take the battery out of it, and who knows why the took my Gillete Sensor for Women.

I liked that razor it had a soft rubbery handle and was wide so that when it got wet it did not get sleppery. So when I find that I need to replace this wonderful tool that I have had for years all I could find was the Venus. So I bought one, and being me I got the one that vibrates. I did not like it at all. The handle when it got wet became almost impossable to hold onto. I know there are some women out there with smaller hands than what I have but for me with at 5foot 9 and having what is called a large bone structure. The small slippery handle just was not working. Also when I did use the vibrating option I got razor burn. So I thought what the hell, and gave it another shot. Nope same thing diffrent leg.

I then went shopping with a friend and found a Schick that had a wide handle, a gippy handle and cost a good deal less then the other razor. Why when something is working and doing well do companies get a bug up their profet and change what is working to something that is not?

Baking

For some reason I am on a muffin baking kick this week. My girl sent me a recipe that looks good for a sweet muffin. Maple Walnut, it uses real maple not the kind that is to sweet and flavored. So when I get home I am going to make up a batch of this kind. The other day I made, blueberry and also a dried cranberry one. Both turned out good. I did like the blueberry better as I used frozen berry's and they do have more juice than dried fruit. But I have to bake with what is available. Next year if I remember to I am going to grab up a bunch of cranberry's and freeze them so if I need any for anything I can have nearly fresh ones.

computers again

This time, I have an hour or so at the library. It is driving me crazy, now I have no Internet access at home. Both computers have died and it will take a while as I have other things to pay for.

The trip to LV was a blast. I did not gamble or see any shows but I did spend one whole day in bed. That is all you need to know about that.

Oh going to days is working out well. I am still worn out on my days off and would just like to sleep in all day. I cannot allow that to happen IF I did I would be up all night again. So I have to make my self get up and go do things.

I am going to start actively looking for a couch now. I am tired of not having any furniture.