Feelings

This past weekend I have been working on feelings. My girlfriend told me that I have a tendency to internalize and not allow my feelings to be shared and she is right I do. So this weekend I was emailing her about my feelings. It is a good thing that she understands how hard it is for me to talk about what I feel and can accept emails from me. I know that it is not the best way to express myself but I think it is a step in the right direction.

I am glad that in she understands why I internalize and will let me work my way through them before I talk about them. I know that I will get to a point where it will be easier to talk about what I am feeling. It will just take work and she is willing to let me work on this.

Nothing to do

This week I have had nothing to do. Well, not really I could have baked or cleaned the house but was not in the mood for it. I did get a bunch of reading done some intersinting some not so. I am still waiting for Lipstick and Dipsticks book to get to my book store but it might not get there. That means getting it on line. I would rather buy it at a store than online but if I have to get it that way I will.

I have also gotten some cross stitching done. Not enough to start a new project but I am almost done with one I should have finished up months ago. Just me being lazy.

The reason for all of this inactivity is no work. Both my jobs have not needed me at all. Now with the weekend here I hope that changes. I need money.

As for my love. O how much I love my love. I know sappy but true.

The Queen, and the fires

On Saturday, I woke up and thought that everything was normal. I was wrong, my dog had a stroke, I talked to the vet and took her in to see him. She did not come home. Queenie, was about 13 years old. That is a long time for a little cocker spaniel. I will miss her.

I know that I should get another dog soon. I don't want one in an apartment, without a yard it is just to mean to a puppy they need a place to run and play.

As for the California fires, I have family down there that no one has heard from as of yet. I know lines can be down as well as cell towers. So I am not yet to worried. Be safe all down there, and a big hug to the firefighters. They need it.

First Storm

Unfortunately I cannot up load the pictures to here from the computer the library has a system that blocks that. We had a nice little storm Thursday, it took out trees, power lines, and other things. Most of the damage was from falling trees. There was one right near my bedroom that fell onto a carport, if it had fallen at the other angle it would have gone into my bedroom. Yes, I was home when it happened, no I did not hear it. I was sound asleep in bed. I must have been knocked out. The tree was a blue spruce very pretty, now someone has fire wood. Oh well.

I have been working out of town, and that has been ok as my kid has not needed me to get him to school. The thing that is bad about it was that the morning of the storm there were so many accidents on the freeway that it was a parking lot. Well, at least I-5 was I don't know about the others I was not on them. It was not the storm that caused all the accidents, the storm hit after 11am. The accident that caused me the most problem was in Tacoma over the Payallup River. It was a long haul truck. That one I got to go 2 miles in an hour and a half. AND it was the one place there were no exits from the freeway. So by the time I got to an exit I was past the blocked part of the freeway. Oh and the accident was all cleared up by the time I got there. What fun.

Still

Still no computer. It is driving me crazy the good news is I am getting a lot more done at home and more hours in at work. wwwwohhoo that was sarcastic btw.

I went last week to a meeting of pagans and there is talk of setting up classes to help us learn what we don't know and what we want to know. This sounds good to me, there are some things that I cam clueless about. Other I am working on and some that I know already. It was an interesting meeting. I did not talk a lot but that was ok sometimes listening is better. I did find out that I need to get a hematite stone to keep in my pocket so that I don't have as much problems with the energy fields that I now have. If it will save me when I get a new laptop then woohoo I am all for it. I do think that is what happened to my laptop I think I killed the internal processor all by my self. I know that I did not have any virus or other nasty on there.

Last night at work I did a suicide watch, now I was at one point in time many many years ago depressed enough to think about attempting to kill myself. I did get some happy pills and that took care of that. I managed to get off of them when I realized what my triggers were and how to not let things get that bad. This young person might now have all kinds of serious health problems. Thank the Goddess I got the pill, and that I no longer need them.

Cars, Pagans

Sunday, my car did something mean to me. It decided that while I was driving her, she was going to loose a break shoe. Of course it did not fall off on the road, it wedged its self under the other break shoe. That means eekkkk STOP!!!! when I did not want to stop. I was going. The good news was that I was in a parking lot going about 5 mph and not on the freeway where I was heading. I had to have the car towed and that took some cash, then new breaks, then more cash is gone. But I now have my car back.

Pagans, are meeting tonight at the library for a lets so who is out there gathering. I think I am going to go and see what I can learn. It might be intersting.

No, still no computer, I am at the library I did find the one that I want and right now it is under $500.oo the thing is I don't have that what with the car and other normal expences. Oh well. Ta for now

OH Crap

Guess what the inevatable has happened. My laptop has died, it is gone to that hell that only computers can go to. I now have limited access to the internet by others computers or the library. They both suck. I did go today and find a sweet laptop that I would love to have but the thing is as much as my rent. I had better get off my rear and start working more hours to get things paid for. Sometimes life sucks. Now on the personal side of things they are going ok. It is great having someone love me for me, and not because they think I am someone else.

There is a new nurse at work who I can't stand. She came in all ready to change things and not bothering to find out what is working and what is not working. That is the pits it makes wanting to go into work most difficult. I have cut my hours to only noc's so that I don't have to deal with her. Now the company also highered her partner to work the same schedule that she does. This I think is a mistake. How can one be objective at work when they are angry or have other feelings for the person working with them. It does have a tendancy to get a bit stressed in there.

I have just about 40 more min here and want to get some emails checked. Peace out