Sunday, November 29, 2009
Two weeks ago Honey came up for a visit I am so tired of being so far apart but for now I can't afford to move and well she can't. When she was here I realized that when we do get to finally be together that it will work out. I was afraid that it would not because she does not like Brussels Sprouts, but I realized that we can work around that. No, the week went very well. We went out to breakfast at my favorite breakfast restaurant the New Moon Cafe. Then wandered about downtown, going where we both wanted to. I did make her go into the comic book store, I am such a geek.
Then at night we made dinner, read to each other. I bought her a copy of my favorite Christmas book The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson. We read that to each other while drinking some really good petite Shara. We watched a movie or two, and just hung out. I loved that week. It seems like forever ago.
Today the 29Th my son turns 18, so I am making me a cake as I am the one who did all of the work. Packing him around for 9+ months (he was 3 weeks late), puking my guts out, pushing out a nine pound kid out of a little tiny hole, and he was just there for the ride. So, I am making me a Red Velvet Cake my most favorite cake in the world. Then later today myself and some friends of ours are going to try and utterly humiliate him, long distance as he is going to school in another state.
Mabon, my cat is getting use to me. She in starting to sleep on the bed and become more playful.
Work is... I hate working during the holidays. Do you know what the major complaint of people coming to the hospital is during this time of year? Nausea and vomiting!!! Big surprise, OD on turkey, pie, other rich foods and drinks. Then what happens, the body revolts. All, we can do unless it is something like pancreatitis or appendicitis is let them puke in a bucket and give I.V fluids until all the food and drink is gone. Sorry, about that rant.
Jude, you have my support and I am pulling for you.
Next week I work 6 days. Whoohoo 6 twelve hour shifts, two on, one off, four on. I think I am going to say something stupid to a patient. I hope not. I will have to remember to write up a post about my work pet peeves sometime.
Well, I need a nap before I start the cake and the rest of my day.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Friday, November 06, 2009
Monday, November 02, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I tried to get the video to upload on here but I could not do it. I will have to figure it out when I am not so worn out. So here is the link to see and hear what Mr. Phillip Spooner said. It is well worth the three minutes to watch.
This man is a hero in so many ways, not just because he supports Marriage Equality, or that he is a WWII Veteran. But because he is both.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
When I was about 19 I got married, just because I thought that is what I was supposed to do. After I got married I got pregnant and I would not change having my son for anything. He was the best thing to happen to me. When I was about 4 months pregnant I moved to another state and my soon to be ex followed for about a week, then he left. After the divorce I had no interest in being in a relationship, even the thought of dating a man had no interest for me. I just thought that it was from having that failed marriage.
Years went by; I mean like 15 no dates, no desire to go out on one. I thought, still being the good girl, that men were my only option. It is not that I don’t like men, I do, they are great to tease, watch football with, or play video games with.
Then one day I was online in a chat room and started talking to this person. She and I would be online most nights at about the same time, as would another girl. After about a year there was a concert that we all wanted to go to in Idaho. So we decided that we were going to meet there. At that first meeting nothing happened we just became closer friends. As the next year went by we began talking on the phone more, less online.
Then three months before a bunch of us (7) were to get together in New Jersey, I thought I had fallen in love with her. I did convince myself that it was not love but a deep friendship, that the only reason that I was feeling that love was because it had been 15 years, and I was lonely. Then came the trip, boy was I wrong.
Talk about an identity crisis. Every time I looked at her I got the shakes, my insides would turn all quivery and not in a good way. I was terrified, of her of me. Everyone kept asking what was wrong was I ok. How could I tell them, these were people that I knew, people that I trust and that trusted me?
When I was finally able to talk to her about what I was feeling, what I was going through. She said that she wished she could help me, that I was her friend and that seeing me torn up like this was hurting her. But, she did not love me that way. I cried myself to sleep in the Philly airport when she got on the plane to go back to CA.
For three more months we talked and emailed, and as those months rolled along I became more comfortable with myself, my new found truth. Then one day, three months later she told me that she loved me too. That was about three years ago, she is now my Honey. As for me I am happier than I have ever been.
So I came out to myself at age 36.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
I would get all three of them, but I am in desperate need of new scrubs for work and those are not cheap so I am limited to one. I would like some input on the shirts that I am thinking about. Here is #1 Tee shirt and this is # 2 Tee shirt and this is #3 Tee shirt.
So if you want to vote for a Tee, just leave a message in the comments.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Chick Habit by April March
Mercy by Duffy the acoustic version
Closer to Fine by The Indigo Girls with Brandi Carlile acoustic version
Short Skirt/Long Jacket by Cake
One by Metallica
I Don't Feel Like Dancin' by Scissor Sisters
Come on Eileen by Dexie's Midnight Runners
Thought the Fire and Flames by Dragonforce
No More Cloudy Days by The Eagles
The Joker and Hallelujah by k d lang
(I'll Be Glad When You're Dead) You Rascal You by Louie Armstrong
Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourn
Orange Sky by Alex Murdoch
Come to My Window by Melissa Etheridge the acoustic version
The Boxer by Carbon Leaf the acoustic version
So what songs stay on you music player?
Friday, October 02, 2009
I know I am not depressed, I have been there before and this is not the same. It is not a lack of attention span. It is almost as if I have read, seen or done every thing that there is. I want something new and there is nothing new out there. Even games that I love are holding no interest for me.
I think I need to see about taking a class somewhere for something. Maybe take up painting, or pottery making, or ASL or something.
The good news is that in November Honey is coming up here. I am so excited it seems like forever sense I last saw her. I actually think it was 4 years ago, I know it was only in September but still that was years and years ago.
Oh for those of you in Washington state if there is anyone else out there from here. Remember to vote Approve on Ref 71.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
I think I am going to go back to the couch.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
The first two ingredient's CANNOT be changed or substituted. If they are the bonding process does not work right and the chocolate is not smooth.
This is also very very fattening. I only make it when I have company over or go to a friends house. The recipe makes one measuring cup of the drink, this does not seem like a lot but because of the richness and the fat content I can drink about 1/4 of that and be happy.
Hot Chocolate or Mouth Orgasm in a Cup.
1/2 cup whole milk
1/2 cup heavy cream
3.5 oz dark or bitter sweet chocolate.
Simmer milk and cream until hot but not boiling. Add small chunks of the chocolate and stir until melted.
That is it. I do for my chocolate use the Lindt Dark Chili Chocolate bar, the chili adds something to the flavor and makes it just a bit better. I am very serious about not substituting the milk and the heavy cream for something with a lower fat content. The milk fats help with the chocolate and using a lesser fat content the flavor, thickness, and texture of the drink changes.
For those out there who might think about using fat free half and half don't. Fat Free half and half is nothing but skim milk with thickener. Anyway enjoy.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
No Internet sucked. What did I ever do before it was invented.
A week gone means changes when I get home. One big one is that a blogger I read has made her blog invite only and now I can't read her anymore and I loved reading about her life in Texas.
The fight out was delayed so I had to make another connection. Thank goddess I did not have to pay to be rerouted.
NJ was hot and humid, wish I would have had more time to check out some more antique shops. Went to the Borgada I just don't understand gambling. Next time I will take a book and try and find a quiet corner to read in.
Got all my fights back OK. On the last one there was a crazy woman. More about her later.
Now I have to start thinking about getting back to work today.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
What I want to know is why the people who fall are not the 90lb 100 year old women but the 200+ lb men who are in their 60s. It is not fun picking their butts off the ground. Then they have the gaul to laugh and try and grab my boobs. I get to go back to this joy Thursday.
I was going to post more Sand in the City pictures but have decided that a little b!t(hing would be better for me. I am still sore and want to sleep, but I know if I do I will be up all day then have to stay up all night for work.
I wish this town had an all night coffee shop or book store.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
What I usually do is get there early, go to the event, later when people wake up it becomes crowded. I wander looking at the sand sculptures and then I go to the market for some shopping.
This year I got there late I forgot to take my camera with me when I went to work so I came home, fell asleep and did not get there until the market was an hour from closing and the event was full. I ran and got some pictures and looked at the art work. Then I went to the market where I bought strawberries, and a green chili that I had not tasted before was give to me as a sample to see if I wanted to when I go back buy some.
While the chili is not a Hatch it is good and will do well. Next time I go I will buy a bunch roast them and freeze them so that when I work long runs of more than 2 or 3 days I can make up Green Chili Stew and take it.
I have some great pics of the market and even though the pics show what the market is like it does not describe what exactly happens to me when I first get there. Getting out of the car the first thing that is noticed is the smell of the sea, then walking toward the market curry from the Indian restaurant. There are others along the back of the market but none smell as strong or as good as the curry. At this time of year the inside smells like lavender on one end, dill weed in the middle and berries on the other end.
There are flowers, fruits, vegetables and hand crafted items that just pop with color. The fish, meats, baked goods are fresh just that day. I love going to the market.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I went to the library on Wednesday and got some loot. The last books that I got were not remarkable in fact I was disappointed in several of them. This time I know I have gotten some good ones, I have one almost finished now and should be able to finish it up and start another one today.
The Loot is as follows:
Hospital by Julie Salamon this is the one I have nearly finished and the whole title is longer than I want to type.
Dewey the Small Town Library Cat Who Touched the World by Vicki Myron
Irish Crystal by Andrew M. Greeley
Aquamarine by Carol Anshaw
All My Patients Have Tales by Jeff Wells d.v.m. This one I know is going to make me cry.
Kitty Takes a Holiday by Carrie Vaughn I know, I know sounds like porn but the other Kitty books have not been that way and I have hope that this one is just as good as the others.
Guess what today is? Give up? For me I always think this day is a month off, I have to work on that. Today is our anniversary. Honey and I have been together for 2 years now. OK, so it is still a long distance relationship and that SUCKS BIG TIME. I do understand that it has to be this way for now and yes, she is worth the wait.
That said I must now come clean on a few things that you, Honey might not know about me. Not some things that I have kept hidden from you just some things that have never come up in conversation before. Now comes the part where I wonder if I should go with the easy to tell or the not so easy. Right, just jump right in.
OK, I think this one has to do with the way I was raised but I hate to wait for movement. I am not sure how to explain this so I will give it a try, and I will use childhood to try. Mom would say “today we are going to the beach, get ready.” Wooohooo! Change cloths; grab a change of clothes, a towel, and a bucket/shovel and toys ready to go. Wrong, mom has to clean the house, then comes running to the store, then goes getting phone calls. By the time we get to the beach it is dark and no fun. So for me when I hear or say “Lets go to…” I want to go even if it is just out for gas; it is like there is some kind of urgency that has to be done NOW. So I think I have an impatient side to me that I need to work on.
The second one is socks. Yes, socks. Honey you know that I hate to wear shoes and socks in the house. However, I could be a sock whore. I am not talking about the functional ones that I wear to work, the white thicker ones for padding. No I am talking about ones with animals, witches, sparkles, stripes, and even ones that light up. I could have one of each that I deem Wow! Not all of them like this would fit into my sock thingy. If there are strings on the inside that catch toes, or feel like lumps when being walked on no, those are not good socks.
Anyway my love, happy anniversary. Two years ago you changed my life, you make me more complete, show me things each and every day that I never thought I would see. So, my love thank you. I do love you and I can’t wait to see you again. I miss you so much that it hurts.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
OK, so the few I found over at Seismic Twitch a blogger out of Canada. The first one is called Why not, right? it is photos of people and their kids in well just odd photos that make sense to those who took them and posed in them but not to us who see them on the web.
The next is Awkward Family Photos I think the title says it all.
This one makes me wonder where people hide their brains. It is called Not Always Right I do not drink when I read this site. As it is good for more than one laugh a day. It is costumer service when the costumer is wrong or just nuts.
Emails From Crazy People nuff said.
Now for the one that I never ever miss. When I am so sleepy that I can't see straight I still go here on a daily basis. This site was set up by a kid it is now nonprofit and how it works is easy. Go to the site answer the daily question right or wrong you have just donated 10 pieces of dog food to a shelter. It may not seem like a lot but when more and more people click then it adds up. On the page for the dog there is a link to click on that will take you to the feed cat page. The same principle applies. One question, 10 pieces of cat food. It take all of 20 seconds. So go to www.freekibble.com and help feed a dog and cat.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
In the first 10 min on the floor even before we got report it was a mad dash scramble. We needed the Doc's NOW. Need to get PTA (PT is patient) intabated NOW NOW NOW. Twenty minutes later we got to get report so now we are about 30 min behind where we should be that is OK, that is manageable. I am doing some quick chart work and I hear one of the nurses start to yell, NOT GOOD.
PTB decided that they were going to wake up and extabate themselves. That does not work. So we all run in there ran start bagging, holding the PT hands so that more of the tubing does not come out. That gets fixed. So while we are in with PTB, PTC decides to pull out the NG tube for the 3 time. There is tube feeding liquid all over the bed, the PT, the floor. After all of that is cleaned up I get word that I am going to be sent up to Med/Surg as someone up there is having a break down.
One of the nurses on Med/surge cannot function without a CNA, she can't even push the buttons on the dinamap to take her own blood pressures. So I am going to be sent up stairs so that she won't have a hissy fit. I truly truly hate working with her, out of the hospital she is OK. At work can everyone say "bossy whiny bitch".
So I am running about the unit trying to get things done that will make it easier on the RNs when I have to go upstairs. Word comes from the house super we are getting an admit, the Unit will be full and closes and I get to stay YIPPEE. New PTD has rule out bacterial meningitis. Oh fun, gowns, gloves, and masks for anything done in that room. It was not bacterial it was viral.
So that was Thursday. Friday I worked med/surge and no BWB was not working. After about 4 hours of running things settle down. Then at the 0200 mark all is settled we hear a gawd awful noise. It was a PT with confusion who pulled out a line that she was getting blood through. Blood everywhere floor, walls, bed, PT. PT was panicking, screaming, and would not let us near to stop the bleeding. What a fun night.
Oh and I realized today that this is over my 200 post mark.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Today I ran to the library and my loot, yes I call it library loot has some great books in it.
Witch Way to Murder by Damsgaard
The Tree of Enchantment by Foxwood
Green by Lake
The Book of Air and Shadows by Gruber
I should have these done by Monday or Tuesday depending on work.
I joined a fantasy football league. I have never done that before and I can't wait to see how it turns out.
They are counting the signatures for the domestic partnership bill. I hope that there are not enough for it to go to a vote. Gary Randall one of the backers of this is not even a Washington state voter. WTF with that.
I am out of pickles, peanut butter and bread. So until I can go shopping on the weekend I have to cook. I hate shopping on the weekend it is like the grocery stores are mobbed. I might just go Friday am when the store firsts opens and just get things for the weekend then on my day off next week go when there are not as many people there.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Neon's have a life of about 200,000 miles so I called about the Cash for NOT Clunkers and found out that my car that is nearly on its last wheels does not qualify. My car when I bought it got on average 36mpg on the highway and about 28mpg in town. Therefore, as my car gets over 18mpg it is not a clunker.
To me the Cash for Clunkers should have another name like PAY OUT FOR GAS GUZZLERS, or GO IN DEBT FOR BETTER MILEAGE, or TRADE IN YOUR HUMVEE FOR A METRO or something along those lines.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Not that anyone is interested but the blogs that I have listed on this site are not the only ones I read. I have a folder in my Favorites that has about 20 more, some I read daily other weekly.
I want it to cool down, I want it to rain and I want to see my Honey.
See I am alive and will be back when I don't want to whine or wine or whatever...
Friday, July 17, 2009
OK, so I totally stole this post from LilliGirl over at It's a Great Life.
An Addition to the Rainbow Bridge
It is said that when animals die they don't go to heaven, they go to the Rainbow Bridge where they wait for their owners. The area around the Rainbow Bridge is sunny, warm but not too warm, flowers, grass and all the animals have been restored to a youthful healthy state.
On one particular day it was unlike most days at Rainbow Bridge, this day dawned cold and gray, damp as a swamp and as dismal as could be imagined. All of the recent arrivals had no idea what to think, as they had never experienced a day like this before.
But the animals who had been waiting for their beloved people knew exactly what was going on and started to gather at the pathway leading to The Bridge to watch.
It wasn't long before an elderly dog came into view, head hung low and tail dragging. The other animals, the ones who had been there for a while, knew what his story was right away, for they had seen this happen far too often.
He approached slowly, obviously in great emotional pain, but with no sign of injury or illness. Unlike all of the other animals waiting at The Bridge, this animal had not been restored to youth and made healthy and vigorous again! As he walked toward The Bridge, he watched all of the other animals watching him. He knew he was out of place here and the sooner he could cross over, the happier he would be.
But, alas, as he approached The Bridge, his way was barred by the appearance of an Angel who apologized, but told him that he would not be able to pass. Only those animals who were with their people could pass over Rainbow Bridge.
With no place else to turn to, the elderly animal turned towards the fields before The Bridge and saw a group of other animals like himself, also elderly. They weren't playing, but rather simply lying on the green grass, forlornly staring out at the pathway leading to The Bridge. And so, he took his place among them, watching the pathway and waiting.
One of the newest arrivals at The Bridge didn't understand what he had just witnessed and asked one of the animals that had been there for a while to explain it to him.
"You see, that poor animal was abandoned by his owners. He was turned into a shelter just as you see him now, an older animal with his fur graying and his eyes clouding. He never made it out of the shelter and passed on. Because he had no family to give his love to, he has no one to escort him across The Bridge. "
The first animal thought about this for a minute and then asked, "So what will happen now?"
As he was about to receive his answer, the clouds suddenly parted and the gloom lifted.
Approaching The Bridge could be seen a single person and among the older animals, a whole group was suddenly bathed in a golden light and they were all young and healthy again, just as they were in the prime of life.
"Watch, and see" said the second animal.
A second group of animals from those waiting came to the pathway and bowed low as the person neared. At each bowed head, the person offered a pat on the head or a scratch behind the ears. The newly restored animals fell into line and followed him towards The Bridge.
They all crossed The Bridge together.
"That was a rescuer. The animals you saw bowing in respect were those who found new homes because of his work. They will cross when their new families arrive. Those you saw restored were those who never found homes. When a rescuer arrives, they are allowed to perform one, final act of rescue. They are allowed to escort those poor animals that they couldn't place on earth, across The Rainbow Bridge. "
"I think I like rescuers," said the first animal.
"So does GOD", was the reply.
If you have not read the Rainbow Bridge here is a link.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
We did manage to go through a bunch of toys that the Boy no longer wants. They sat on my floor until today when I could haul them to a second hand store.
I am so addicted to Yoville on face book. I have also started playing another game called Wizards 101 not sure about that one yet but it looks good.
So I hope that everyone had a great weekend.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
One of the nurses who I seemed to work with more often than not and I started talking. She said that she hated living here in the west that she wanted to go back to the Midwest where there were actual values.
"So," I said. "What exactly do you mean?"
"Well, out here everyone is so liberal that it sickens me. There are the environmental laws, the bleeding hearts over the animals, and then out here you are all so easy on the gays. Welcoming them, treating them like they belonged."
As if that were not bad enough she had to continue. "I am so glad I don't know anyone who is gay, they make me sick."
I did the only thing I could think of doing. I looked at her and said. "Hi, I'm ..... and I am a lesbian."
The respiratory therapist (a woman) standing next to me looked at me and said. "My wife and I have been together for 12 years. How long have you been with your girlfriend?"
Needless to say the look on the nurses face was priceless. She turned pale, and looked at us both, and stuttered.
(This is the best that I can remember the conversation)
Thursday, June 25, 2009
One young man who I saw there was so cute and fun, he was probably all of 19 20 and hoped into one of the cars that had someone running for city council in it. Then when he got back at the end of the parade he joined in with the Stonewall Youth.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I am not one who has the TV or radio on for background noise. If I want to listen to music I turn the radio on, if I want to watch a movie the I turn on the TV. So in living on my own in my own silence am I going to long for the sound of another voice or am I going to be on overload when I go outside and am in a crowd or at work.
Or will I become one who turns on noise just to not have that alone feeling. I guess I will have to wait and see.
Then there is work. OMG this week at work I have the worst schedule I have today off then Thursday off, then Sunday off. I requested Sunday off for Pride.
Monday I had off and I slept for a total of 14 hours. I needed it.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Every other Sunday a group of us gets together and games. Yes I know, but I am a gamer at heart and for me it is a way to relax and escape the dealings of real problems at work. So I go, roll dice and kill giant bugs. Very therapeutic, tho I think most of it is just talking with other some who are in the medical field and other who are not.
So, at game everyone knows that I am a dyke. Some write about me in their diversity classes, some ask me to check out the woman in that movie. They know they accept or deal with it.
My son however, was not told. It is not that I was being secretive about it, it is just that I did not even know for a long time. Then when I realized "You dumb*$$ your a Lesbian" I had some things to work out. Lots of things to work out. Guilt, hatred of myself, fear, and the list goes on.
When I finally got ready to tell him about Honey what does the boy do. Up and move out of state to go to a HS where he gets better grades then ever.
I did not think that telling him on the phone was a good idea so I waited until he got back home. I did not tell him the way I wanted to but when I did he said, "I kinda figured." Talk about anticlimactic.
So I am out to everyone in my family that I care about, except the two little ones. Honey and I both agreed that their mom is the boss of them and are going by her wishes.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Thursday, June 04, 2009
I love working nights, there is a different "feel" about them. One not so rushed, so urgent. However, all of this started when I was little about 8 or so years old. When I would get sent to bed with the lights out, I would lay there awake for hours. Then when the birds would start singing I would fall asleep.
As I got older I hid a flashlight in the bed so that after everyone else was asleep I would read until I could fell asleep. Now, this took forever as reading is exiting and keeps me awake until I finish the story. There were times I would go to school exhausted from not sleeping at night. I just could not do it.
After we moved around, and around. Try 10 different elementary schools in 5 states (my dad was an electrical field engineer) my parents decided to home school us. That was great. I could sleep all day and then do my work when I woke up.
I have always been a night person, I did try to work day shift for a year. That year I was so exhausted that I would sleep and work and sleep. There was nothing else. Even my days off were a chore. No, I love the night and the night shifts.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
I have talked to an adviser at one of the more well known schools and have been told that what he thinks from what I have told him it would only be a year to get my BA. I would love to go thought with it and have everything done.
The biggest advantage for me with an online school is sleep. I can do all of my classes at night when I am up and not worry about trying to stay awake during the day when I have to sleep so that I can work. I do wish that more places would be accommodating for those who work nights.
I would love to be able on my nights off to go the bookstore when I can't sleep. Some restaurants are open late at night and that is good. But, sometimes a book store would be nice.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Then there is the last thing. Do Not Judge... Oh crap this one is so hard. We judge on first impressions (the up all night mom at the grocery store in sweats), lifestyle (redneck, gay, world hopper, rich) money, class, education, language skills, the list goes on and on and on and on. So how not to judge, how not to think of others in terms of ewww or wow or fear (look over there it is group of teens)? Personally, I don't want the job of judging others, I have been the one in sweats at the store after being up all night with the sick kid, I am the one with the gay lifestyle (whatever the hell that means). I am the one who because of my job that I choose to do people assume that I have no education. I have packs of teens at my house.